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My WH has insisted for the last 2 months(it is how long I've known about this crappy situation)that he is completely addicted to a 24 yr old ex stripper (lives in another state from us) She is a sorry, low life, piece of trash, that he has sent over $16,000 in the last 3 months. Now this all starts with him going to strip clubs not only in town but out of town on business trips I learn. As his story goes she lap danced for him and allowed him to touch her more than the club would have allowed. She has said things that make him feel so good about himself, she has also ignored him and made him desperate to have more texts, more emails, more calls. He says he wants to know he has made a difference in her drug addicted rehabilitation. He has sworn to break it off with her no less than 4 times. The most recent 3 days ago, saying that he is coming back to reality and that he knows this has all been stupid and he knows we should stick together and focus on us. I have been living a nightmare. I have prepared all my paperwork for divorce and told the lawyer to proceed. I'm just wondering is this how a lot of strippers work.

Having no personal experience (from either side) it seems to me she's the kind of person who saw a sucker and played him. I mean 16 GRAND???

My H used to work security and some of their contracts were for "adult entertainment" clubs. He used to tell me stories about his job. I had *never* heard of an "exotic dancer" taking a customer for that much. Granted some strippers are prostitutes but not all of them.

So yeah, I think she saw a sucker and played him.

I would like to enjoy strip

clubs, but I am too cheap.

Two cousins were "exotic dancers" and yes, they would have done or said anything to get money from their marks. Common nicknames were "Dicks with dollars," and "Weinies with wallets."

You are not alone here. Many of our WSs did stupid things and spent obscene amounts of money. Please take care of yourself emotionally and financially. His head is still up his a$$.

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 8:40 PM, September 23rd (Monday)]

Oh, dear Lord. I'm sorry, but your WH is a moron, IMO. He is being played like a Stradivarius and he has *no clue*.

This type of behavior is how *predatory* people work.....and that is what she is and who she would be regardless of her occupation.

....on a practical note. Please take whatever measures that you need to take in order to restrict the flow of cash to this guy.

Talk about throwing money down a rat hole.

My husband and my son's best friend were both taken this same way by strippers. It's their business. See a web site called Hustle Hut

Just a little info from my experience - when my husband told her NC she said ok but continued to call for well over a year. Once they get the hook in they will not give up. She got married and still kept calling

[This message edited by PowerInNow at 9:28 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)]

I'm sorry for you. I'd stop the bleeding emotionally and financially asap. My ex got taken by a piece of trash stripper, and she took him for way more than $16,000 in four months.

She called me to scream at me, after she was attempting to blackmail him (to call me!). The blackmail amount was $15,000 and he would have given it to her if he had it.

I'm so sorry for you. Your husband needs a lot of help. Make sure you protect you!

ETA: At the time she called me, I had NO idea about any of his doings with her. She didn't intend to do me any favors, she just wanted to rat him out to hurt him. In the end, he hurt himself. I was out of the marriage asap. I was sickened by him and couldn't wait to get out of the marriage.

[This message edited by somer222 at 9:23 AM, September 25th (Wednesday)]

Talk about throwing money down a rat hole.

Comedic gold.

Rat hole

Yes, indeed, strippers do have a whole lot of tricks (no pun intended) up their....sleeves.

I learned that to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars we did not have. (You don't want to know how many years I spent paying back that disgusting debt.)

Saw a documentary on HBO a while ago: It's the core of what they do to make money - make the punter feel they are special, give them "extra" showing it's "more than a job when I'm with you"...blah blah blah. Then count up all the 16k checks from her "special, one of a kind" clients. It's a con trick at its best.

I'm sorry but you have to be a particular kind of idiot to fall for that sort of attention

Yep, he is being played for a sucker. I am sure he thinks he is her one and only. She found a sugar daddy and he found a ho willing to take money for love.

Mark,

I'm sorry but you have to be a particular kind of idiot to fall for that sort of attention

This comment is particularly offensive. .

This kind of thing happens to people outside the stripper setting too and in the end can be very similar (the manipulator was only gold-digging).

Ease up on hurtful name calling because this indirectly covers some BS's and others - what about the men and women who get taken both in person and online?

Are they all idiots too ?

They are more likely lonely which can make them easily manipulated by the wrong person.

I never thought I could I would get taken by a gold digger (would see it for what it is and be immune) but it did happen.

Similar thing with someone saying they would divorce if cheated on, not so easy when it actually happens to them.

You need to take 1/2 of the marital assets and keep them in a separate account. Now. He's pissing through marital money.

Next document, document and document. See an attorney. Doesn't matter whether you file or not, but at least you will know what your rights are and where you stand legally with things. I would take his name off of anything joint at this point. He may rack up credit cards, etc. Cancel all accounts where you are on them and get your own, let him get his own.

You cannot let yourself be liable for any debt he racks up on this whore. If you have stock accounts, IRA's, pensions, etc. you need to talk to an attorney to find out how you can keep those safe by requiring BOTH of you to be present with multiple forms of ID to remove any money from them.

Well 6 days was all he could go with out breaking down and taking the crack whore's call. Then he sent $100 bucks because she needs gas money. Our 30 year marriage down the drain vs 1 sexual encounter with her and a few months of texts and calls. I am pulling the trigger tomorrow with the divorce attorney. It hurts, but I cannot continue to sit by while he drains our bank accounts. He is completely irrational, depressed (stopped his depression medication for a few days last week). I've made him go back into another bedroom and he is actually acting mad. What right does he have to be mad? I'v got to be strong and do what is right for me and begging him to give our marriage a chance is not the right thing for me anymore.