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Divorce/Separation :
In house separation coming to an end

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 hopeandchange (original poster member #33287) posted at 2:49 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

stbxww found a place and is putting in an offer to purchase. So our sharing our home will soon be coming to an end.

It is nearby so it will be easy for me to see the kids often.

I gave her time to find the right place in a tough (scarce) housing market and it has been difficult for me emotionally but I am glad that I have been able to look past the betrayal for her and our kids to have the right place.

Another transition for me and looking forward to it.

h&c

BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

posts: 413   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2011
id 6498244
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kg201 ( member #40173) posted at 2:52 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Congrats H&C. That sounds really good about the closeness for your kids.

Me: BH, 40
Her: Ms. Daisy
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, living together
Dday: 7/28/13
Ds17, DS12, DD12
Divorced! 2/24/2015
Apology. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

posts: 1155   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2013
id 6498247
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dbellanon ( member #39236) posted at 3:50 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

As someone who went through an in-house separation, let me add a few more of those smiley faces to celebrate your liberation.

ME: BH, 36Her: WW, 35DD: 11Married 6 Years.DDay: Early May, 2013 Divorced

posts: 402   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2013
id 6498310
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JamieMc ( member #37776) posted at 4:49 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Unbelievably unselfish, your love for your kiddos while you and WW sorted things out, I applaud you for taking the high road Jamie

BS early 60’s Wh also early 60’s. I am Jamie, Mom to 3 great young adults. My WH and I have been together more than half of our lives and married 30+ years.. We are in MC & going to give R our best shot, hoping and praying for a better 2015!

posts: 112   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6498354
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mandan66 ( member #40075) posted at 5:03 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Yes---let me echo dbellanon. Nothing worse than in-house separation, but man, when its over and the WS moves out, it really allows you to take that deep breath and exhale. I also took the high road, and it was so hellish doing it for these months, it has made our divorce (finished this Friday) much easier to survive (for me, anyhow)

H&C, your kids will thank you for this someday.

Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

posts: 121   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2013   ·   location: KS
id 6498359
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newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 5:51 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Yes, good for you. I can't imagine the hell of in house separation. It would have been difficult for me to not have suffocated the Gnat in his sleep.

I'm glad that your kids will be close by. The Gnat only lives about a mile from me and it is really nice for the kids. I don't like having to worry about running into he and Hello Kitty in the neighborhood though.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6498386
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AussieMum ( member #36579) posted at 6:30 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

In house separation was horrific for me. It was a huge relief when he moved out - I hope you feel that relief too.

That's great that you'll be close to your kids

Me 47
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS13 & DD8)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

posts: 185   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6498404
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7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 3:09 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

The end of in-house S means detachment on turboboost! HandC, welcome to the next chapter. Still lots of ups and downs but the ups last way longer and the downs dimish further over time.

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

posts: 2231   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2011   ·   location: VA
id 6498602
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laney57 ( member #35617) posted at 12:02 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

YAY!!!! You're an inspiration H&C and a great father! I'm still behind, but love to hear this!

Update 01/21/17
Me - BS, 46
Him - WH, 48
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Separated 03/2014 (he moved out of state for job)
Tried and tried and failed long distance 09/2015
Have no idea

posts: 236   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2012   ·   location: KY
id 6499336
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gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 12:16 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

What great news!

My in-house separation lasted only eight days, and every moment of it was HELL.

I am in complete awe of anyone who can endure an extended period of time like you have done. Good job in doing the right thing for your kids!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

posts: 1857   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6499359
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gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 1:55 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

As someone who went through an in-house separation, let me add a few more of those smiley faces to celebrate your liberation.

Me too. It was such a relief when xWW finally left and limbo was over. Your selflessness in looking out for the kids best interest is admirable.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6499491
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 2:55 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

Kudos to you. I couldn't take the separation- I finally just moved his crap out.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6499559
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 2:59 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

So happy for you. I was on the other end of the situation-- the BW who was looking desperately to move out-- but either way, it was SUCH a relief to end that stage.

It was decent of you to let her stay. Here's hoping that her move will be very soon!

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6499565
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Celticlass ( member #39518) posted at 3:17 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

(((H&C))) Mega hugs.....you can do this last bit! Hang in there! It will be over soon, now think about how you'd like to reclaim the space. Those thoughts should take you through the rest of the process.

You have arrived, kiddo! Your new beginning is on the horizon....Aim high




posts: 72   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Lone Star State
id 6499582
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