Please give yourself a break. Deployments in general suck but throw in infidelity and it becomes a big pressure cooker.
With him being gone, don't feel like you have to make a decision. You don't. it is ok to not make a decision. Really it is.
Be easy on yourself. Try and concentrate on you, kids (if you have any), home life, etc. To stay or go doesn't have to be made today, or next week, or next month. Personally i would think of this as a pause in the relationship. Yes your WH should still be transparent, accountable, remorseful, etc but the hard hard work may just have to be paused due to deployment circumstances. This can be your time to become stronger and grow.
I made the decision after coming here to make no big decisions for the first year. It truly is a roller coaster. If I hadn't made that promise to myself, I probably would have gone three times by now. I am still with my military WH. MC seems to be working, my WH seems to be working for a better marriage. If I hadn't given it a year, we would never have reached this point,
The list are a good idea. In fact maybe every couple of months do a new list and compare it to the old lists. Hopefully you will see progress and know that you are right where should be. If you don't see progress, then maybe they will help you in making a very tough decision.