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User Topic: Rough Week Ahead
Gr8Panoz
♂ 40746
Member # 40746
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXW should be getting her counter claim tomorrow with all of the changes I made to her original divorce decree. She was asking for sole custody and limited supervised visits.

Shes not going to get it. Along with the counter claim she'll also be getting a court summons for temporary visitation orders. She has to this point refused me any visitation with my kids. I spoke to them on the phone for 8 minutes today. They were having to much fun at a school carnival.

They're young and Literally like kids in a candy store, but they didn't have much to say or desire to stay on the phone to sat it. Hurts.

She is going to be furious when she sees what I'm asking for even though it's not unreasonable. Her keeping the kids from me is also damaging her standing with the judge. I hope she has no idea what's coming. I don't know if I should expect a call text or nothing until I hear from a lawyer. The wondering is killing me.

I'll know a lot more this week about how petty she's going to be and how hard she wants to fight and I'm not looking forward to it. So far I've been very cordial in any and all contact with her. I just hope the judge sees this.

As you all probably well know, This isn't a court order for visitation but an order to appear. She doesn't have to abide by it. If she doesn't, it will be at least three weeks before we can go before a judge.

Sigh......


Me: 31 BS
Her: 28 STBXW
Kids: 5 & 7
DDay 8-24-13
Divorce started: 9-5-13
Divorce Final: ?

Posts: 26 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Idaho
mandan66
♂ 40075
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there brother. Our final court date/divorce is Friday morning this week. Incredibly stressful, especially last weekend. I don't know how I will be feeling by then, but as bittersweet as it will be, it sure will be a relief.
Its amazing how fast time flies---just last year at this time we were picking colors for repainting one of our boys' bedrooms. Little did I know....

But I have emerged a wiser, better man===and so will you.


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Read "Divorce Poison" ASAP.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10133 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Gr8Panoz
♂ 40746
Member # 40746
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a bump and an update.

I know she got her counter claim and order for visitation paperwork tonight. I got my copy. I'm not expecting anything but paperwork form her lawyer once she gets one.

And the Journey begins. On a side note, I have a buddy bringing over a friend who took back his WW 3x before getting a divorce and has come out the other side. I expect more of the same it gets better, you're better off, etc... But it will be interesting hearing it in person from someone with the experience to know.

Not sure how long it will be before updates. Could be a while if she doesn't even have a lawyer yet?


Me: 31 BS
Her: 28 STBXW
Kids: 5 & 7
DDay 8-24-13
Divorce started: 9-5-13
Divorce Final: ?

Posts: 26 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Idaho
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She filed the papers, right? Then I would assume she has a lawyer. I believe the normal turn around for a response so 20 days, but someone smarter than me will answer I'm sure.

Make sure you are documenting everything. She has no reason to ask for sole and supervised visitation only. Don't engage, hold tight and keep fighting for what is best for you and the kids.

Sending you strength.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5623 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Gr8Panoz
♂ 40746
Member # 40746
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My lawyer assumes she just got some paperwork from the courthouse. It was all in her handwriting and there was no lawyers name atatched to it. It wasn't signed by a lawyer or anything. I also don't believe that a lawyer would be advising her to keep the children from me. She's getting advice but not professional me thinks.

Could be wrong though. Yay 20 days of wondering and sending more texts to see the kids that she won't answer. I'm wondering if and when she gets a lawyer he'll say give him the kids, you look bad?

She has acted very selfish and petty since she walked out and had papers at my door one week later.


Me: 31 BS
Her: 28 STBXW
Kids: 5 & 7
DDay 8-24-13
Divorce started: 9-5-13
Divorce Final: ?

Posts: 26 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Idaho
Take2
♀ 23890
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You must - must - must! get a VAR now and keep it on your person! If she wants to get really petty - the advice she'll get next is to say she is afraid of you and go for an RO. Document any and all contact with her and cover your ass!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4171 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Gr8Panoz
♂ 40746
Member # 40746
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have one. Not that I need it since we've exchanged maybe 10 texts in the month she left and that's it. I've got a written log of all contact attempts phone calls etc...

Saw her at the bank once. Noted that. Otherwise no contact whatsoever. I'd love her to try. She's got temp custody orders in her hand now from my lawyer. It would get tossed in a second.


Me: 31 BS
Her: 28 STBXW
Kids: 5 & 7
DDay 8-24-13
Divorce started: 9-5-13
Divorce Final: ?

Posts: 26 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Idaho
newlysingle
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is terrible. Your poor kids being kept from you because of their morher's bad choices. She will not be able to keep them from you. I can't imagine any judge in this day and age doing so.

Hang in there and keep on doing what you're doing. It will pay off.


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 983 | Registered: Mar 2013
Gr8Panoz
♂ 40746
Member # 40746
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, it's confirmed that she has the counter claim. she text me today to question some of the debts I have listed as being community that she needs to pay. She didn't mention anything about custody or CS. Not sure if she's just gathering info for the lawyer or what.

That's my guess. She doesn't understand that the debts are 50/50 no matter what. My parents threw in over $2500 to keep me out of foreclosure. I almost said we but she left the house and was hoping to walk away from all of the financial problems. I think she may finally be getting a taste of my life for the last month.

She took her car payment and her phone payment and left everything else with me. I'm sure she'll also want back child support. I hope I can argue about the money spent and the fact she lives with her parents but I'll probably lose. We were going to try to go after her for all the money we used to get caught up but since they were gifts no such luck.

It's a little sad. Some part of me relishes any contact with her since she never talks to me. Afterwards though I just feel sick to my stomach. Thats how I feel right now. She hasn't talked to me about anything but money since she left. I mean anything. It sickens me to realize that's the only thing forces her to have contact with me.

On a side note, I don't think she got the orders for temporary custody hearing yet. The lawyer just emailed it to me and I have to sign and notarize it tomorrow. Wonder if she'll contact me about something besides money at that point. Guess I'll have to start carrying my VAR with me just in case.

I get no emotional healing just more money stress from her after all shes pulled. I hate this.


Me: 31 BS
Her: 28 STBXW
Kids: 5 & 7
DDay 8-24-13
Divorce started: 9-5-13
Divorce Final: ?

Posts: 26 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Idaho
Gr8Panoz
♂ 40746
Member # 40746
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here is another news item that has just arrived. Apparently my WW has asked the neighbors to write a latter for the courts saying negative things about me. They refused and wouldn't have had anything bad to say anyway.

Shes really scraping the bottom of the barrel to find any reason to ask for sole custody or justify her affair. I dread the day we have to talk about this stuff in court but hopefully I can bring to light some things that will shame her as well. And of course I didn't think to have my VAR on me to talk to my neighbor so I didn't get that recorded. Damn!


Me: 31 BS
Her: 28 STBXW
Kids: 5 & 7
DDay 8-24-13
Divorce started: 9-5-13
Divorce Final: ?

Posts: 26 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Idaho
Topic Posts: 11

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