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Just want to post an update as WH came home for 9 days and has now left. I have to say that the 9 days were pretty confusing. H tried really hard to answer all my questions, I just find it so difficult being apart and being able to move forward, when he goes back I feel like we have just gone back to square one. H was so attentive, did everything right, even the sex was great but I still have the horrible thoughts of him with her, he tells me that he got in way over his head, should have ended it sooner but was afraid that she would tell me me, he says that she was nothing special and that it was the thrill of sneaking around and her telling him how good he was. He says that he has never had sex with anyone better than me but how do you get over that when all you can imagine is him having sex with her. I know that he really wants to make this work and I do too but like today I have gone back to the questions of why. I am sure he will eventually get fed up with this, I just can't help it. I am seeing a IC but don't feel that this is helping as they do not offer any solutions I just feel like I am talking to a brick wall and they are taking my money. When do you start to feel like you are finally moving on?

I felt like that in the beginning too about ic but now I have become dependant on it . it has become my escape since I no longer have my wife to talk to. I think if you stick it out and stay true and honest it will eventually help you greatly good luck

Hi, I've been wondering how you were getting on. Being apart makes everything take that much longer to process, questions have to wait and your mind takes flight, I know only too well, it's very hard.

As for the IC, honey, drop that one and find another, sounds like you're like me, I had to see someone who actually participated in the session. One I went to sat there like a manikin, clip board on her knee, didn't say a damn word..... suffice to say, she only got one fee from me. Email a few, interview them online, ask them questions on their views on infidelity, then choose the one that sounds like might be a good fit for you.

Hugs needadrink, thinking of you.

Thanks hard yards thought I was doing ok but have really gone backwards. I have managed to get all the horrible details from him and I think that has been a setback. This IC is just has you said she just sits there with her book not contributing at all and if I ask her a question she seems shocked that I have asked. I live in a country town so it is difficult to find someone. H is trying to find a way to finish his overseas job by Christmas and the house we are having built will be finished by then. I actually tried to do some packing today but everything I pick up I feel like throwing in the bin, 18 yrs of memories it feels like everything has been tainted. Being home alone is so lonely, the few friends I have are overseas and I have no family, only my kids and I don't want to burden them with my issues. He met our D for the first time since DD and has started to R with them so I don't want to unsettle that. So the only person I have to talk to is the C and she's useless. I hope you are doing ok?