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My mil hates my fil

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summerain posted 9/24/2013 12:42 PM

Okay my MIL has a very intense stare and I find her really intimidating. Plus I just downright hate her.

Whenever DH is off somewhere she bitches about my FIL (who I actually love). But it an unforgivable way: accuses him to be an alcoholic, states that he bitches about DH behind his back and wished he was never born. Alluded to inappropriate relationships with young children

Now one may say, how the hell can I be so sure in my gut that none of this is true? Well, I've been around alcoholics, been around toxic parents (ummm looking at you MIL) and well the alluding to children? She's a dickhead and I don't even want to go there.

But even that she says that about all her family members and it's oh poor me blah blah why does everyone hate me? I have stories... many stories why people would hate her (including me)

But either way when I tell her it's inapropriate to tell me these things she goes "no I'm telling you, you have to listen to me"

My DH thinks his mum is the most vulnerable poor little thing and that maybe "her methods arent right but her heart is truly in the right place" And I mean what do I know I didn't come from a family where I was loved. So I don't tell him, he observed enough of our interactions between his mum and I to know that I don't like her.

So watch should I do about my mil saying shit about my fil

Also, is it bad that 90% of the time I feel like punching her in the face? I don't do it but fuck I hate her

Also, is there a way I can get her to stop hugging me? She makes my skin crawl>!

imagoodwitch posted 9/24/2013 12:55 PM

I'm glad to see my MIL is alive and well and now living in Australia

Mine did the same thing.

My WS didn't defend her though.

I don't have any advice, I cut my late MIL out of our lives because of how she was.

tushnurse posted 9/24/2013 14:57 PM

OMG I have a brother, and he lives in Australia?!?!?

I'm sorry to make light of your situation, but I have a mother that rivals that. I learned a long time ago to not take it to heart, she is just bitter, mean, and hateful. She doesn't even realize it most of the time.

Just have faith that Karma will greet her one day too. If you can't limit your interaction with her then just try to not engage her.

I can honestly say the older I get the easier this becomes. My loving mother would be shocked if she knew I felt this way, but this woman is just F'ing mean.
You want examples, here's a few charmers from the past week.

My father willing donated firewood to us last winter, because we didn't have a chance to get down in the woods and get our own. When I approached him about having a day for the 4 of us (my H, me, mom and dad), he tells me we can just have more. 15 minutes later, I get a 15 minute tirade, how it's not right for us to just use "their" wood, and that we are selfish, and that if want wood this year, we are going to have to get it on our own, because we "refused" to help them last year.
True story, we were called at 9am on a saturday that had a Marching band competition, a Cheer thing, and dinner with inlaws, to help that very day, when we said we weren't available I guess that means we refused. It's insane.
I don't let it bother me though. I know she is selfish, bitter, and angry. I just pray when she gets dementia that she does a 180 on personality, because sister, she will be impossible to deal with like this.

summerain posted 9/25/2013 00:18 AM

your replies made me feel so much better

I love how I have to spend 5 hours driving my MIL around this Friday

It's not like I have anything better to do!!!!


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