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Newest Member: HellYeaimdone (45730)

User Topic: Does wayward laugh when there's cheating scenes on tv
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wondering I cry when I see it and as I do I stare at my WS angrly and he says I fee you starring at me and I turn my head and cry even more

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. Never.

Sometimes he takes the remote and changes the channel..and holds my hand.

Or he will start talking about something,a little loudly, to distract me.

Or he hangs his head in shame.

He would never laugh. There's nothing funny about infidelity.

There was one time,we were watching a TV show, and something came on that was VERY VERY specific to what my WH did. It was the first time I had been faced with anything life that on TV..I froze..I literally could.not.move. I was like a deer in headlights. Wh asked.."Why are we still watching this??"...he was as freaked out as I was..but I couldn't reach for the remote..or move..so he did..but the damage was done. I got up,quietly, and went to the bathroom..I laid down on the floor and cried..and cried. He came in and he held me and told me he was sorry and he loved me.

The next time your WH laughs,ask him why he is laughing.

Im sorry he doesn't comfort you when you trigger. ''(((((SoOver)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7913 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Kelany
♀ 34755
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. He knows I get uncomfortable, often he will change the channel. We NEVER make light of cheating anymore.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWS here.

No, I don't. I cringe, get sick to my stomach, cry, feel utter humiliation.

In fact, we don't watch very much of anything for the simple fact infidelity is everywhere and we're both still kind of raw. We're very picky, and choosy in what we watch. My husband was hurt enough by my actions. He doesn't need to see a reenactment on screen.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6433 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
Sal1995
♂ 39099
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We try to avoid shows with that content, but no, she definitely does not laugh. If she did she'd be laughing her way right to divorce court.


Me (BS)-46, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1487 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WS ask me if I want to watch something else besides baseball I would rather watch baseball they don't talk about or do any cheating so I tell him no we can watch this I don't cry with baseball :-/ I wished he did give me a hug when the cheating scenes come on or fast forward it but nope

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
JanaGreen
♀ 29341
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laugh? No. He doesn't really get affected/upset by it, but I usually don't either. If it bothers you and he's laughing? That's really awful.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 5-year-old daughter. Baby Green 2.0 expected June 2015!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 6921 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's the thing I don't think he knows I'm crying Even with me sitting right next to him

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
JanaGreen
♀ 29341
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((HUGS)) do you feel comfortable talking to him about your feelings? Is it possible he doesn't realize how much this affects you?

There's some cheating on TV that doesn't bother me because it's SO different from my situation. And there's some that does. I let him know quickly if there's something I don't want to watch!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 5-year-old daughter. Baby Green 2.0 expected June 2015!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 6921 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laugh? seriously? That is grounds for justified assault.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8790 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
philly172
♀ 19024
Member # 19024
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, my WH gets noticeably uncomfortable & if he's got the remote he will change the channel.. He wont even listen to cheating songs on the car radio


"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible

Posts: 4792 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, and if he did, his ass would be out of the house.

As a matter of fact, he can be a lot more sensative than me about things coming up on TV or on a song. I've had times when he's just either turned the channel, switched songs on Pandora, or has asked me if I'm OK. He's made a couple of jokes that were triggery and immediately apologized when he sees/senses that I'm upset.

Because that's what a remorseful spouse who loves you does, when you're upset. Same thing when he triggers I comfort him.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5097 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Ashland13
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Though we are D, he cannot stand to even hear the words in relation to other people

ETA, it's some of the only times he shows "discomfort".

It's my suspicion that he can't continue pretending otherwise.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 3:32 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2366 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
HeartStings
♀ 38017
Member # 38017
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On Red Eye the other night, Greg Gutfeld said that if a married man suddenly starts working out like crazy and obsessing about his appearance, he's cheating....100%.

I burst out laughing. Non-remorseful, non-regretful WH just got very quiet.


Posts: 117 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New England
kansas1968
♀ 32214
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After DDay we have totally changed what we watch. Infidelity is absolutely off the menu. I won't even watch relationship movies. He should never laugh at those movies. That is the most cruel thing I can think of.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1320 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For awhile it was like exSO purposely put on shows or videos about infidelity. Seriously I'd read the description and skip over it and he'd go lets watch that. I would cringe, cry, and be ready to run and throw up by the end. I don't laugh at infidelity it makes me sick to think how much I enjoyed certain shows that focus on it so much before.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2799 | Registered: Oct 2012
englishrose
♀ 34974
Member # 34974
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


He will avoid such programmes, or if something A related comes up as part of a storyline, then he'll try to comfort me.

We were watching 'Mr Selfridge' last evening, well I was - fWH was reading but kinda watching/listening, we'd gone to bed thus our home was v.quiet otherwise. He stalled from his reading, and watched silently at the Mrs Selfridge/Miss Love scene unfolded. I was'glued' to the bed, you know that nailed to the spot feeling - the scene was v.similar to a visit I had from OW -the conversation between the two characters was strikingly similar.

I cried. He was visibly moved by the scene,he was silent, stunned. He/we didn't switch channels, and he held my hand 'til I fell asleep after the programme.

He never laughs. Ever.

Usually whilst triggered by TV programmes,I either end up in tears, or go onto one of my rants about I in general...his A, the happenings of his A, and of course OW. He always tries to comfort me.


me BW 46 WH 43
DS 7
DS's 21 & 19 (my boys - from my previous marriage)
Ddays 3&17/3/2011



Posts: 186 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: UK
1devastedmom
♀ 38399
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely not. He grabs the remote and changes the channel right away and begs for my forgiveness. He doesn't want to watch any shows with nudity or sexual scenes either. Basically we watch nothing but Disney movies with our kids and the news.

[This message edited by 1devastedmom at 6:29 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine made absolutely no connection between his behavior and infidelity on TV, in movies, or among people we knew. He could work up a good head of disgust for others' cheating--and never, EVER relate it to his own behavior.

After d-day, I was stymied. I learned that, at the time my sister was struggling with a horrendous d-day (years before mine), my husband was cheating.

At the time, he was appalled by my BIL's actions.

It genuinely never occurred to him ---and yes, he is personality disordered--that his actions were equally as abhorrent.

He's special like that.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9025 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 19

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