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Newest Member: farmgrl (61811)

User Topic: bit of a t/j on anniversaries
♀ 7767
Member # 7767
Revenge  Posted: 1:58 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it just me, or does it hit you wrong when you see stuff on emails or Facebook along the lines of "Divorce is not an option in my marriage."?

Most of the time I just go about my business because I know these people are making a statement about commitment and longevity in their marriages. But lately it's just making me feel a little stabby.

It's not like any of us went into our marriage looking to divorce. Or that we woke up one day and said, "You know I just can't take it that . . . he always leaves the toilet seat up, or she leaves her hair and makeup products all over the bathroom sink . . . think I'll get a Divorce."

Most of us fight tooth and nail to keep our marriages intact. But damn - there comes a point when you don't feel like sharing your spouse with another person.

I wish they just wouldn't share their "holier than thou" relationship news with the rest of the world - we get it - you're in love and you don't think it will ever end. It doesn't mean that those of us who are divorced are quitters.

Guess that's the end of my rant - back to your regularly scheduled programming.


[This message edited by Newlease at 1:59 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]

Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 8265 | Registered: Aug 2005
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been feeling the same, newlease: Extremely stabby. I spent three months trying to save my marriage with an unrepentant narcissist. Then I decided divorce is definitely an option.

And if I get married again, it will continue to be an option. That's what sane people do when the situation becomes intolerable.

Me: 1970
Two sons: 2000 and 2003
Cheating louse: What's her name again?

Married Aug/95
DDay Nov/12
Separated Mar/13
Finally divorced Jul/17

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It used to bother me then I realized they likely don't know any better. I say that because I used to be one of those people then life handed me lemons but forgot the sugar and all I had was some sour pissy looking water. My perspective on many things changed after Dday but I don't mind people that are happy or think they are happy. I think it's fine and hope it's real and lasts for them. I do draw the line at people judging me and my situation.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 2:43 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 2213 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Option implies choice. I don't recall choosing for my husband to be a lying, cheating SOB.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 39193
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, I hate this as well. Depending on who posts it and my mood when I see it, I'll usually post a non-personal (to them) but very personal (to me!) response like:

Infidelity was "not an option" in my marriage. Too bad my husband didn't agree.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

Posts: 1857 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Topic Posts: 5

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