I have often wondered if the A had moved forward long enough for them to have to put the "dream" aside and deal with real life together, would it have been a disaster? Would a crisis blow it all up and would they have to show their real selves? What would it take? After DDay the OW went from a strong, assertive woman to a sniveling little girl who had her favorite boy toy taken away. She cried, sent sad passive aggressive emails, left little gifts at his office door, etc.
Several years ago my H and I took a cruise on a small ship. There were just 100 passengers on a huge yacht type ship going from remote island to island in the Caribbean. Most of us traveled from Miami on the same flight down. Immediately there was a couple that stood out like newly weds, yet no new shiny rings. He was 50ish and she was 20ish and the creep factor made us all suspect affair. He was dressed in a business suit and tie while she had on a very tight, short, low cut red silk dress. After going on ship we saw the man, red faced mad because none of their bags made it on board and they had no carry ons. The ship had a very limited shop with just essentials and the remote ports were just beaches. We saw them every morning, noon, and night in those same clothes. After a few days that red dress was ruined, spotted, wrinkled and stained. He looked as bad. Her face looked like crap and her hair got frizzier as the week went on. We joked about them not even having carry on bags because their hands were just to busy to be bothered while traveling. Looking back, she had no make up, no hair care products, probably no pills, condoms, or anything else to make that trip work. As the week went on it was obvious that paradise was starting to smell, stink, maybe reek. By mid week things appeared strained and by the last day they would not even look at each other. Once back in Miami they found the airlines had their bags and by then they were not speaking. I wondered why he did not buy them a few things, but it was an all inclusive cruise and I am sure he had limited cash. He could not risk using his credit cards in the Caribbean because an international charge would stick out. I have often wondered if he got away with it and if the cruise ended it all.
I know my H and OW well enough that it would just been a matter of time because deep down they are oil and water. They both have FOO issues that would have broken all hell loose with just a little push of a crisis.
Do you ever wish the WS and the AP would have had to deal with real life instead of rainbows and you could be a fly on the wall to see it all go down?
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.