My Wh cheated on me with a prostitute from cl and gave me herpes. I found out in April. I have had a bad time with this as I tend to break out every few weeks.
No matter how we are doing with R, when I break out I go back to the beginning all over again. Does that make sense? I find that I simply can not stand my WH. It doesn't matter how things have been in the weeks prior to the outbreak, it's all the same.
He said in MC, that when I break out he feels awful and can't believe he did this to me when I didn't deserve it and I did nothing wrong. But to me, it doesn't matter. I think he SHOULD feel bad and I want him too. I want him to suffer like I have to.
It occurred to me that this will be my life, there is no getting over it as there is no cure for herpes. Even when I am old I will have this disease and if it continues the way it is now, the out breaks will be often. How will I deal with this?
Have any of you been through this? Are you R or did you leave? HOw do you not go back to the same hurt you felt on dday? How do you forgive him. And how do you move on?
And just for the sake of asking, if you chose to leave, do you really think anyone would want you again? After your WS gave you an incurable disease? I'm asking because, in my head, I feel like I am either stuck with WH or stuck being alone for the rest of my life.