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Actually happy

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brknwmn posted 9/24/2013 19:13 PM

I've actually been happy for the past two, I guess 3 weeks now. FWH (has recently earned that title) has been amazing. He's been a rock when I've needed him to be, understanding of my triggers and moody days, and couldn't possibly do anymore.

So why do I find myself sabotaging this happiness with my thoughts. He'll do something so loving and I think...did he do that with her? And just that quickly I get thrown off. I know that I was/am still hurt by what he has done in the past but I can actually see a change this time. I can see him working so very hard and I know that he won't hurt me like that again...i have every password, he doesn't jump when his phone rings/texts go off (he'll actually ask me to get them) so what the hell...why does my brain keep screwing me over with these awful thoughts???

unfound posted 9/24/2013 20:00 PM

It's a self protection and/or habit thing, and completely normal considering.

With his continuous healthy, remorseful ways, those thoughts will diminish....with some effort on your part too. Keeping in the "now" can be hard to do. Remind yourself of how much progress he's made, take a moment to focus on the present.

You'll get there

kansas1968 posted 9/24/2013 20:09 PM

Beats me. I do the same thing and really get disgusted at myself for doing it. Hopefully time will make it better!

Irishar posted 9/24/2013 20:35 PM

When those questions come up in my mind I ask him. I need to know everything. |Deal with it so it sits as best as it can in my heart and mind then move on. My husband keeps working hard on our marriage and on him self with his IC's help. I just keep taking it day by day and hope that I don't fall from cloud 9 on to the concrete ever again.

torn2pieces posted 9/24/2013 20:59 PM

I am doing the same thing. things are good but i find myself going backwards at times when i really just want to move forward. hard to get it all but we will :)

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