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Newest Member: bob74 (46035)

User Topic: Talk me down from calling him
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tonight I just want to call XSO. Have him come over, sleep next me all wrapped up with me and have him kiss me awake in the morning. Why am I in love with a man who was an Hells Angel, was in prison for 8 years, was married five times and has a bunch of kids out of wedlock? All things I found out once I started dating him? Why am I in love with somebody almost 20 years my senior who chose somebody else? I must be crazy and yet my heart just wants this man.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
h0peless
♂ 36697
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes the heart needs time to catch up to the head. You know rationally that he's bad for you and that contact would only hurt but you want that reality to be different.

Posts: 1851 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Ms_Strong
♀ 30883
Member # 30883
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't do it. Sometimes fear of being alone makes us do things that aren't good for us.
Don't contact him. Go watch some TV and go to sleep to get you through tonight. Then tomorrow feel good that you weren't another ego-stroke for him.


Me: 40, happily divorced Dec11
D-Day #1 - 9th Jan 11, D-Day #2 - 13th Jan 11
Kids - 4, 8 yrs

Posts: 269 | Registered: Jan 2011
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Hugs)) think about what you would tell one of us in this situation.
Knowing his history brings it into better focus. Sadly, history often predicts the future. He doesn't deserve you - and I think you both know that now.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would tell everybody to run as fast as they can!!!! And here I am thinking I can save his soul. Love does make you blind.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
exhausted lady
♀ 30217
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fraeuken....don't make that call - NO MATTER WHAT! You know you deserve better, and your head is telling you that loud and clear.

On the other hand, your heart is used to the "bad boy addiction". I'm a survivor of that addiction myself, and it's damned hard to break.

NC, NC, NC, NC. His history more than shows you who he is - and you can't change that. You deserve better, and BETTER is out there.


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
click4it
♀ 209
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even though you still have feelings for him, your heart and your head are telling you don't do it. You know deep down not to and it will only make you feel WORSE after.

Its so hard. (((((hugs))))))


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
InnerLight
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Withdrawal symptoms are hellish! Just follow NC, it is a cleansing detox process that will lead you to a place of peace. From there, if you desire, you will be able to find a truly loving companion.


BS, now age 54, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years M and 20 together. In some ways I have not 'gotten over it'. But I am resilient and have created a good life where I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5956 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 1:38 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Fraeuken))))

And here I am thinking I can save his soul. Love does make you blind

Seems to be a common theme amongst a lot of us here, your not alone.

I'm hopeful it will get easier!


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
Jpapageorge
♂ 31800
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 3:21 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have already stated valid reasons why you should stay NC with him:

Guess who is drunk and buying a glass of wine for drum rolls ----- his ex-girlfriend.

And then the man I thought loved me, walked right by me, carrying drinks for her and him, did not acknowledge me and sat next to her, leaning into her and laughing and talking to her.

I heard the tires screeching outside and the engine being tortured when he left. This man is in his 60s - really? I would expect this behavior from a teenager.

...(A)nd don't have a guy with constant back pain and flatulence on the couch next to me.

...(H)e traded a Porsche for a Kia.

I have seen him sliding back into drinking the last few weeks after he got off the meds for his sepsis. He had been on his best behavior I think and then could not keep it up. Who knows what other issues there are, I know I dodged a major bullet the more I think about it.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1764 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 4:11 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stayed NC :-). And day at a time !


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Catwoman
♀ 1330
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 4:28 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know nothing good would come from calling him. So don't.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29738 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
k94ever
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fraeuken......his soul is his own to save. You can't do it for him.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6635 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
traicionada
♀ 10310
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh dear! Love doesn't have to make us blind. Deep in your heart, you know you deserve way better than what he has to offer so stay strong


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3354 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you didn't call him!!

The withdrawal sucks.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7865 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did not call him!!!!! Thank you everybody for the 2x4s.

Instead I watched some TV, snuggled with DD11 and enjoyed the company of our cat all night; he decided he needed some love and slept closely next to me, giving me the occasional love bite and lick. I swear the knew how lonely I felt yesterday.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
LearningToRun
♀ 31353
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you! Any time you spend on him delays finding one who will treat you as you deserve. You cant be open for Mr Right when clinging to Mr Wrong. This guy made you an option, too bad for him.
Continue to stay strong!

Posts: 347 | Registered: Feb 2011
foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We'll done and that's lush about your cat.

Was feeling lonely Saturday night and had my puppy on my bed which I never do.

She cwtched into me in the crook of my legs with her head on my calf. Felt great. She is lovely! Later she came up top and I slept with my hand on her paw......

Holy crap that sounds so sad! LOL


Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He texted me today out of the blue asking me to come to church. Crickets from my side.

What the heck? He is worried about my salvation, he should be worried about his.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Random thoughts
♀ 2959
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you block his cell #.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1621 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

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