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Talk me down from calling him

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fraeuken posted 9/24/2013 21:54 PM

Tonight I just want to call XSO. Have him come over, sleep next me all wrapped up with me and have him kiss me awake in the morning. Why am I in love with a man who was an Hells Angel, was in prison for 8 years, was married five times and has a bunch of kids out of wedlock? All things I found out once I started dating him? Why am I in love with somebody almost 20 years my senior who chose somebody else? I must be crazy and yet my heart just wants this man.

h0peless posted 9/24/2013 21:59 PM

Sometimes the heart needs time to catch up to the head. You know rationally that he's bad for you and that contact would only hurt but you want that reality to be different.

Ms_Strong posted 9/24/2013 22:06 PM

Don't do it. Sometimes fear of being alone makes us do things that aren't good for us.
Don't contact him. Go watch some TV and go to sleep to get you through tonight. Then tomorrow feel good that you weren't another ego-stroke for him.

persevere posted 9/24/2013 22:23 PM

((Hugs)) think about what you would tell one of us in this situation.
Knowing his history brings it into better focus. Sadly, history often predicts the future. He doesn't deserve you - and I think you both know that now.

fraeuken posted 9/24/2013 22:37 PM

I would tell everybody to run as fast as they can!!!! And here I am thinking I can save his soul. Love does make you blind.

exhausted lady posted 9/24/2013 22:39 PM

fraeuken....don't make that call - NO MATTER WHAT! You know you deserve better, and your head is telling you that loud and clear.

On the other hand, your heart is used to the "bad boy addiction". I'm a survivor of that addiction myself, and it's damned hard to break.

NC, NC, NC, NC. His history more than shows you who he is - and you can't change that. You deserve better, and BETTER is out there.

click4it posted 9/24/2013 22:41 PM

Even though you still have feelings for him, your heart and your head are telling you don't do it. You know deep down not to and it will only make you feel WORSE after.

Its so hard. (((((hugs))))))

InnerLight posted 9/25/2013 00:48 AM

Withdrawal symptoms are hellish! Just follow NC, it is a cleansing detox process that will lead you to a place of peace. From there, if you desire, you will be able to find a truly loving companion.

foreverempty posted 9/25/2013 01:38 AM


And here I am thinking I can save his soul. Love does make you blind

Seems to be a common theme amongst a lot of us here, your not alone.

I'm hopeful it will get easier!

Jpapageorge posted 9/25/2013 03:21 AM

You have already stated valid reasons why you should stay NC with him:

Guess who is drunk and buying a glass of wine for drum rolls ----- his ex-girlfriend.

And then the man I thought loved me, walked right by me, carrying drinks for her and him, did not acknowledge me and sat next to her, leaning into her and laughing and talking to her.

I heard the tires screeching outside and the engine being tortured when he left. This man is in his 60s - really? I would expect this behavior from a teenager.

...(A)nd don't have a guy with constant back pain and flatulence on the couch next to me.

...(H)e traded a Porsche for a Kia.

I have seen him sliding back into drinking the last few weeks after he got off the meds for his sepsis. He had been on his best behavior I think and then could not keep it up. Who knows what other issues there are, I know I dodged a major bullet the more I think about it.

fraeuken posted 9/25/2013 04:11 AM

Stayed NC :-). And day at a time !

Catwoman posted 9/25/2013 04:28 AM

You know nothing good would come from calling him. So don't.


k94ever posted 9/25/2013 09:04 AM

Fraeuken......his soul is his own to save. You can't do it for him.


traicionada posted 9/25/2013 09:26 AM

Oh dear! Love doesn't have to make us blind. Deep in your heart, you know you deserve way better than what he has to offer so stay strong

Williesmom posted 9/25/2013 09:51 AM

I hope you didn't call him!!

The withdrawal sucks.

fraeuken posted 9/25/2013 11:21 AM

Did not call him!!!!! Thank you everybody for the 2x4s.

Instead I watched some TV, snuggled with DD11 and enjoyed the company of our cat all night; he decided he needed some love and slept closely next to me, giving me the occasional love bite and lick. I swear the knew how lonely I felt yesterday.

LearningToRun posted 9/25/2013 11:34 AM

Good for you! Any time you spend on him delays finding one who will treat you as you deserve. You cant be open for Mr Right when clinging to Mr Wrong. This guy made you an option, too bad for him.
Continue to stay strong!

foreverempty posted 9/25/2013 16:34 PM

We'll done and that's lush about your cat.

Was feeling lonely Saturday night and had my puppy on my bed which I never do.

She cwtched into me in the crook of my legs with her head on my calf. Felt great. She is lovely! Later she came up top and I slept with my hand on her paw......

Holy crap that sounds so sad! LOL

fraeuken posted 9/26/2013 20:20 PM

He texted me today out of the blue asking me to come to church. Crickets from my side.

What the heck? He is worried about my salvation, he should be worried about his.

Random thoughts posted 9/26/2013 20:42 PM

Can you block his cell #.

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