One year ago yesterday, I spent the day curled up into a ball on my living room floor crying like I have never cried before. After a very mean and hurtful text message exchange with my then WH, I just couldn't take the stress anymore and I just collapsed. During the 4 hours that I spent on that floor I came to realize that my marriage was done. That the life that I had was done. The my beautiful DD's life would never be the same. After those 4 hours of hell, I stood up, dusted myself off and proceeded to systematically split my life in half. By the end of day, I was completely numb. I turned 44 that day.
Yesterday, I spent the day responding to bday well wishes while inhaling the scent of the 2 dozen red roses that my fWH sent to my office. I gazed at the amazing picture that my DD drew for me, with Daddy's help, while reading the many, many text messages of love and support that my fWH sent me throughout the day. And I came home to a clean house, more flowers and just this amazing feeling of love and respect. I don't think I have been as happy as I was yesterday when I turned 45.
The difference between the 2 days is amazing. We are still toddlers in the R process, but I believe we are building a good foundation for the rest of our marriage. Another trigger down...a whole lot more to go.