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rachelc (original poster member #30314) posted at 10:40 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
There is a business breakfast at OW#2 place of work. He hasn't said a word. We usually talk about what we have planned for our work days the night before.
I'm not sure if he'll not go, go and not tell me or go and tell me.
I'm not going to ask. I'm just going to see what he does, what kind of spouse he chooses to be.
is this the right thing to do?
2married2quit ( member #36555) posted at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
It's hard I know, but let him decide. Let him tell you. It's a good way to see where he's at. If he goes, I'd say let him. Maybe seeing OW will bring some sort of closure?
My FWW did it without telling me. I exploded like a bomb and it was just as hard as DDAY. I almost threw up and passed out. However, for her it was a milestone. She needed to see if she felt anything for him and she didn't. In the end, it wasn't a good idea for her to do that. Other consequences came out because of her visit at his place of business, but she got her closure.
BS - Me 47 WS - Her 45 ( she's a childhood sexual abuse survivor)
DDAY -#1- June 2012/ #2 -June 2015 / #3-August 2015
Married 25yrs. 2kids
She had 2 affairs with two different men.
Status: divorced.
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 10:53 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
Rachel
You will find out just how far in R you really are.
I would wait it out.
Good luck. You have a way to find out for sure?
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
rachelc (original poster member #30314) posted at 11:28 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
You have a way to find out for sure?
yep...
RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 11:57 PM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
I too would wait it out and see.
A test...hopefully he will pass. This is what rebuilds trust.
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
brokensmile322 ( member #35758) posted at 2:37 AM on Thursday, September 26th, 2013
(((RachelC)))
Wow...yes, you should wait it out and see.
But my heart goes out to you...how scary to wait and see.
I imagine it is much like when we all went searching the first few times, when we discovered their secrets.
Wishing you strength to keep silent and peace of mind as you wait. Hugs! You can do this!!
[This message edited by brokensmile322 at 8:38 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)]
Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."
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