Many stabs to my heart from many sources lately.
Tonight a beautiful photograph turns up on a restaurant's FB page. Of course it catches my attention. It's a lovely upscale restaurant. But ugh, in the photo is a table with heart confetti, and a dessert plate decorated with a slice of torte cake and "Happy Anniversary" written in chocolate script across the plate.
Stab to the heart.
I'll never have that again.
I couldn't bring myself to celebrate our last anniversary, and the year before, Finally10 acted badly and chose to sleep on the couch-various explanations have been given about that, but...
I can't celebrate the day that WH stood at the front of a church and made vows to me which he has completely trashed and broken beyond repair. He even tried saying that it should be ok to just continue anniversaries since he's not cheating now. It felt like he was asking me to forget and move on. Impossible.
I get really tired of hearing, "But look at me now!" Good for you buddy. But what about the stuff you did that killed our marriage and my soul?
I am truly happy to hear when others here on SI are able to celebrate an anniversary. But an out of the blue thought of a romantic anniversary of two loving people just feels like my heart is being ripped out of my body- again.
All of Finally10's unexpected/unintended consequences are triggers for me.
I guess I'm just venting tonight. Things have taken a downturn here lately.
Thanks for listening.