so sorry for your pain.
Deleting texts = HUGE RED FLAG
If there was nothing to hide he would not have deleted them.
Gaslighting is an amazing phenomenon. I found myself only relatively recently able to replay scenes in which I was gaslit over the years and it left me going WTF! When you are still in it, it can be so very hard to see. Trust your gut.
Be kind to yourself, try the 180, find your inner strength and self esteem.
((hugs))Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou