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soconfusednow (original poster member #40078) posted at 11:37 AM on Thursday, September 26th, 2013
My WH's work day today is different than normal, but unavoidable. The last time NC was broken (that I know of) was at the end of a day just like today.
I've known for a few days that this was coming & it’s been weighing heavy on me. Yesterday I wanted to tell him how hard today would be for me, but I didn't. He had to work late & had other plans so we didn't have much time together. I just wanted the time we did have to be pleasant, so I could feel like I had a good day.
So here I sit...the day is just beginning, it's miserable already, it will be a long one & he doesn't have a clue. 
D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?
jost1125 ( member #38710) posted at 12:13 PM on Thursday, September 26th, 2013
When I feel like this I write. Do you journal? It may help to write down all the things you are feeling and thinking about. Maybe write it to him and let him read it when he gets home. It seems like if I spend some time in the morning getting it all out, writing and crying, then I can be a little more present and keep myself busy for a good part of the rest of the day. Maybe you can find something to do to keep your mind off things-something that you enjoy.
I'm sorry today is going to be tough for you, hang in there, you'll get through it.
((soconfusednow))
Me (BGF) 35yr
Him (WBF) 32yr
Children: 14yr (mine)
Dday #1 (admitted to EA) Sept. 29, 2012
Dday #2 (admitted is was PA) Oct. 1, 2012
soconfusednow (original poster member #40078) posted at 12:31 PM on Thursday, September 26th, 2013
When I feel like this I write. Do you journal?
I was for a while, but as things got easier I don't as much. I forgot how much of a release it can be. Thanks for reminding me. 
D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?
brokensmile322 ( member #35758) posted at 12:47 PM on Thursday, September 26th, 2013
Is it possible for you to stay connected with your WH today throughout the day?
I know when I feel like this, contact throughout the day helps a ton!
Try to keep busy. Most likely if you slow down, you will have time to allow your mind to 'go there'. KWIM?
Hugs! Good luck!
Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."
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