SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

[Register]

Newest Member: SDBAWD (46580)

User

Topic: Unused to nice

ninebark
♀ 24534
Member # 24534

Posted: 7:05 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013

So I was actually speechless last night, but for a good reason.

I was talking to BF about why I had to quit taking the same martial arts class as my DS. Two reasons:1- I was getting hurt so I wanted to heal up first, and 2-I couldn't afford the extra $30.00 a month on top of my gym membership (broke single mom..lol).

So he looks at me for a minute and says "if money is the only issue I will pay for it for you. "

I was floored. Then I realized I was so used to being married to a selfish, self absorbed person that I was truly shocked when he offered to pay. I can guarantee you that my ex would have found money to pay for his stuff, but when it came to me he would never offer such things.

Wow is it nice to have someone treat you like this, putting your needs first.

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada

Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870

Posted: 12:00 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013

Yep.

I had a similar experience earlier this year. It was near time for me to be leaving work, and the man that I'm dating texted me to see where I was.

I couldn't understand why he texted me. His response that he was worried about me floored me.

I'm embarrassed that I didn't recognize simple courtesy and kindness.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7934 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA

nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882

Posted: 12:33 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013

I get that, totally.

me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."

Posts: 2634 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA

persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468

Posted: 11:46 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013

It's a shocker to realize that people who care are willing to help you when you're not used to it. Sounds like a good guy.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4780 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas

NWfleur
♀ 35874
Member # 35874

Posted: 12:16 AM, September 27th (Friday), 2013

Yes! My SO has planned a couple weekend trips for us, booked the hotel, researched online, etc. I was FLOORED! My ex never, ever took the time to plan anything let alone even call about a dinner reservation! I did it all! So this is a whole new world for me!

Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)

Divorced!!!

Posts: 324 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA

foreverempty
♂ 34426
Member # 34426

Posted: 3:20 AM, September 27th (Friday), 2013

It's good you've found someone like that and can recognise the gesture now.

It's one of my worries as I was always generous like that with ex but she took advantage so much I've kinda promised myself I won't ever do it again.

I went without so much it was unreal!

It's one thing I've promised myself I'll never do again which is a shame, but one of my broken bits!!

Hope he continues to surprise you with generosity and kind gestures.

Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

Posts: 676 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: United Kingdom

Topic Posts: 6

Return to Forum

This Topic is Archived