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Newest Member: Krissz (61514)

User Topic: The Healing Library
soconfusednow
♀ 40078
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I first posted here The Healing Library was recommended I barely glanced at it, but spent a lot of time in the forums. Now that I'm starting to look there more I'm thinking I wasted some time on my road to recovery.

When it comes to homework type stuff I get distracted, try to do to many things at once, get frustrated or lazy, all of which is time consuming & unproductive. Any suggestions to keep/start me in the right direction would be helpful.


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe you want to use the members here to hold you accountable for implementing the things that you are learning. Let them support you and encourage you.

So think about where things are and what you want to accomplish next (not the grand scheme but the next small step). Let us know what it is so that we can cheer you on.


Posts: 54405 | Registered: Jun 2007
Lucky
♀ 6864
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Try taking things one step at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time.... It's a long road with a lot of ups and downs and many struggles.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
Dare2Trust
♀ 21183
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

soconfusednow,

One thing that's very helpful:

If you can take the time to write "your story" on your profile page. Then posters can refer to your Profile page/story....and have a better understanding of your situation to help you with suggestions/advice, etc....

Often, posters don't have time to read all your posts before replying.


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6216 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: PA
soconfusednow
♀ 40078
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Iíve decided whenever I come to the site I need to look at least 1 article, link or book from the Healing Library. Iím not sure starting at the top & working down or choosing from the title would be more beneficial.

Today I will read Quick Start Guidelines - by Poodlepapa.


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When it comes to homework type stuff I get distracted, try to do to many things at once, get frustrated or lazy, all of which is time consuming & unproductive.

OK...that could be your response to the A, but it could also be ADD/ADHD. My suggestion is to see a doc, preferably a psychiatrist with a specialty in AD(H)D, for an eval.


fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16807 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 5:05 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In reference to the ADD/ADHD. I specialize in this field for children but have worked with adults as well. Often, adults take responsibility for their inability to manage time and stay focused. I do recommend talking with someone about that- there are some very simple tips and strategies that may help you focus and say on track- as well as give you the peace of mind that some if this is out of your control. Don't bet yourself up for the way your mind and body work. Learn how to work with those strengths and weaknesses to get you where you want to go.
I wish you strength and comfort.


Just call me Wonder

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.

Divorced and super good with tha
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2- June something or other 2017


Posts: 1248 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
soconfusednow
♀ 40078
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just read Signs of Cheating in the Healing Library. If my WH read that he might think I was cheating(I am not), about 20 of those things applied to me.


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50's WH 50's
NC-several, last broken NC 7/2013 (?)
Married 30+ years, 2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 8

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