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Fairychild posted 9/27/2013 07:02 AM

About 6 months ago I found out that my husband was having an affair with a co-worker. I was devastated. He assured me it was over and that it didn't last long. That he wants to work on our marriage and that it was a stupid mistake. I forgave him, we have a 4 year old daughter and I still love him. But I'm struggling to get over this. He tries very hard to assure me that I can trust him again and that he loves me, but I'm constantly scared and frustrated and angry and sad. I feel like I'm constantly on a roller coaster ride and I don't know how to deal with it anymore. Any advise?

Alex CR posted 9/27/2013 07:15 AM

So sorry you are here but you have found the best place where there are lots of people who can help you.

Please read the Healing Library here and there are also some good books like "Not Just Friends", by Shirley Glass and "How to Help your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" for your husband.

Best advice I received when I first came to SI was that I didn't have to make any life changing decisions right away ....that I should take a year to think things through and I'm glad I did because healing from infidelity is a roller coaster ride.

Take good care of yourself, eat, drink water and sleep. Know that there is nothing you did to cause your H to cheat and keep posting. There are many here who can help you.

MovingUpward posted 9/27/2013 08:21 AM

Welcome Fairychild

In what ways does your husband assure you? What areas do you find doubt? We often talk about watching their actions more than believing the words they speak. If your husband is taking good actions to build trust again, it means more that just the talk.

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