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Just realized something (personal growth)

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SoHappyNow posted 9/27/2013 15:20 PM

My love language is touch. I can practically start purring from the sheer pleasure of sitting close to my sweetie. I always used to be at my happiest whenever my late husband would reach out and hold my hand or hug me.

Today, as I frequently do, I went over and sat on the couch where my SO was lying. I put one arm around one of his knees and just patted his leg. After a bit, my "touch savings account" had plumped up and I got up to come over and sit in my recliner.

He doesn't chase me around stroking me during the daytime. He DOES sleep spooned with my back turned to him, which I really like.

And I realized: I don't ever have to feel needy or neglected or anything of the sort. When I want or need something, I just get up and get it for myself or ask for it freely (like "honey, I need a hug"). Why couldn't I have figured out this simple thing years ago instead of wishing and hoping the guy would read my mind - and having emotional pain when he didn't??!!

[This message edited by hit-by-a-train at 3:22 PM, September 27th (Friday)]

jo2love posted 9/27/2013 16:30 PM


better4me posted 9/27/2013 16:37 PM

Touch makes me purr too. Glad you know how to build up your reservoir!

NaiveAgain posted 9/27/2013 21:46 PM

wildbananas posted 9/28/2013 05:02 AM

Count me in as another one who purrs when touched.

gma56 posted 9/28/2013 20:52 PM

I'm a toucher and also want to be touched. Definitely my love langauge too.

I don't ever have to feel needy or neglected or anything of the sort. When I want or need something, I just get up and get it for myself or ask for it freely (like "honey, I need a hug"). Why couldn't I have figured out this simple thing years ago instead of wishing and hoping the guy would read my mind - and having emotional pain when he didn't??!!

I know now that I'm older,I appreciate everything so much more and that may be because I have the time that I didn't have when I was young.
In many ways, we do get better the older we get. Not everything is lost on the young.

Newlease posted 9/30/2013 09:50 AM

I had the same realization during my marriage, but I also got rejected when I asked for what I needed - A LOT.

SO shares my love language of touch so we have a very mutually beneficial relationship where we ask for, and get what we need from each other.

NL

She11ybeanz posted 9/30/2013 13:52 PM

OMGosh...I just took the test (for the 2nd time in my life...but as a single person now...cause I took it when I was in False R the 1st time) and I got a THREE WAY TIE!!!! WTH!!!???

9 - Physical Touch
9 - Words of Affirmation
9 - Quality Time

And then 3 for Acts of Service and nothing for gifts. I don't care about that stuff.

Now I'm really confused about myself!!!! Does this just make me really needy???

IndianDreams posted 10/20/2013 13:31 PM

would someone post a link to the test please?

inconnu posted 10/20/2013 13:35 PM

If you google 5 love languages, you'll find it. The author of the book is Gary Chapman.

IndianDreams posted 10/20/2013 13:53 PM

oh sorry, I thought it was an online test..

inconnu posted 10/20/2013 14:09 PM

there is an online quiz that goes with the book. I just don't happen to know the link for the quiz off the top of my head. Also, the book goes into a lot more detail about each love language, after you take the quiz. :)

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