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Newest Member: js01 (45726)

User Topic: Is anyone taking meds to cope?
suposd2btheonly1
♀ 40753
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im having a hard time....OBVIOUSLY. I have scheduled a visit with my Dr to discuss depression. Lately Im having a hard time dealing with daily life. I get out of bed only bc my babies need me. I could care less about any of WH needs. Clean clothes for work? I could care less. Lunch for work? Dont care. Towel after a shower? Get it yourself. Im suffering from depression, anger and anxiety. I have stupid visions while hes at work and it makes me sick, the nights before he works I cant sleep and I cant eat the days hes at work. Im going to talk to my Dr about what I can do to help and Im wondering if for the time being I might need medications. Im really struggling with this, has anyone had to take meds for coping during this raw emotional time??


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
hailstormer
♀ 35873
Member # 35873
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YES I think everyone deals with deep depression.
Go to the healing library a lot of that helped me realize it wasn't me or my fault the things he was blaming me for or him re-writing our history. That section is very helpful
I did take some medication I had here at home already but found out when it wore off I felt worse but talk to your dr about that
Right now take care of yourself and your kids very important!
I also had medical issues so long and too ridiculous to discuss from all the loss of sleep, food, anxiety, and out of control crying.
I never realized someone had that many tears in them. I still can think about certain things and instant tears better now cause been 3 yrs but still a nasty raw feeling
Everyone will tell you take care of yourself and time will help (not heal) but help


me(BS)-55
him(WS)-53
together 21 years
1st D-Day 4-19-10
2nd D-Day 5-3-12
married 19 years
2 kids 13-twins
Unfortunately...divorcing

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Florida
cardnial
♀ 40382
Member # 40382
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went to see my Dr. last week and he put me on some antidepressants. Takes a couple weeks to notice the difference he says. I am just hoping when my mind is evened out and not bouncing thoughts all over the place I will be able to take time to heal and consider my future and stop staring at the walls all day. good luck, God bless.

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Calif.
suposd2btheonly1
♀ 40753
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My boys are the only things getting me by right now. They are my only true happiness in this upside down life Im living since Dday. Although there are times that I really feel love for my husband I still could care less about his needs. After all he discarded me for a dumb slut who sought him out, stroked his ego and he let go of boundaries and screwed her. I dont think he deserves me to care, he can take care of himself. My babies on the otherhand are the only constant things in my life that have brought me nothing but joy, WH brought me sorrow, shame and immense pain....I could care less. Due to his careless infidelity I am struggling to do the daily things I previously enjoyed without forcing myself.

I lost 26lbs in a month, and I sleep maybe 3 hours a night. I dont know how to change these things that seem to have become habits....


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
InnerLight
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took a nutritional supplement that supports brain chemistry called Neurolink. Stopped long crying fits within 20 minutes. I could function again. It's amino acids and B6 and it's not addictive. I am really sensitive and did not want to get my system thrown out of balance with the wrong medication in the wrong amount and then get addicted. This was a really useful and gentler alternative. It was formulated by Dr. Amen who runs brain scan clinics. If you ever watch PBS you probably have seen him.


BS, now age 54, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years M and 20 together. In some ways I have not 'gotten over it'. But I am resilient and have created a good life where I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5899 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
suposd2btheonly1
♀ 40753
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thank yo uinnerlight, i will look into that


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
surviving1963
♀ 40393
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After my adult children witnessed what a mess I was they made an appointment for me to see the Dr. She prescribed anti-depressants, anti-anxiety (for those really desperate moments), and sleep aids. They literally saved my life. I went from 125 to 88 pounds during the early traumatizing months. I have never had to rely on meds before, but nothing has ever compared to the excruciating pain of betrayal. It has been 18 mos since first dday. Still...one day at a time...good days and bad days. Get medical help if you need it. Keep your chin up:) Hugs!


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 120 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
NJdadof4
♂ 40817
Member # 40817
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my first response to any thread, though I have read nearly every thread in every forum here since d-day six weeks ago. I am the BS, ww had an ea that was about to become a pa when confronted. Anyway, in the weeks leading to the A as I became more aware of it, I became more and more depressed; no appetite, disrupted sleep, insomnia, uncontrollable thoughts, etc etc etc. I knew I was depressed and knew I needed help to clear my mind and think straight so I made an appointment with my regular doctor. There was no judgment...I simply told him I was having marital problems and was depressed. We talked (nothing intrusive) to make sure I wasn't having any other issues (suicide, homicidal thoughts, etc) and he prescribed an antidepressant. Most take time, and most have side effects of some sort. Our MC suggested I talk to him about switching meds, which he happily agreed to do because of some of the side effects of his initial choice. I've been on Zoloft now for about five weeks, and it has made a huge difference. My mind is clearer. I am not tortured by my thoughts. I am able to more calmly discuss R with my w, and I am able to more rationally discuss both of our roles in both of our A's. We are in a somewhat complicated place, because we are each the BS and the WS. In some ways it makes it easier for us to acknowledge our own shit, because neither of us can claim a moral high ground. We are working hard, communicating better, and have hope for a better future.

[This message edited by NJdadof4 at 12:25 PM, December 9th (Monday)]


I meant it when I said for richer and for poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others until death do we part.

Me: BH, 46
Her: WW, 43
Married 2005
DD1: 8/18/2013
DD2: 11/22/2013


Posts: 32 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: NJ
stronger08
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did not seek any medical help for many months after D-day. I thought I could tough it out and deal with it on my own. Pretty soon my life was in the toilet and my WW was flushing the bowl. It was around that time I found this site. Almost every member here suggested I seek medical and/or mental help. Naturally I did not listen to the advice I was given and I became so ill I almost lost my life. I had lost so much weight as I could not eat. I could not sleep or even perform the basic functions of my job. I developed a stress related bleeding ulcer that was not helped by the fact I was drinking just to get through the nights. I was sick for weeks until I passed out on a NYC subway train due to loss of blood caused by the internal bleeding of the ulcer. Next thing I remembered was being taken to a hospital for blood transfusions and emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. My BP was so low they thought I was going to die before I got to the ER. I was in and out of consciousness the whole time. I woke up after the surgery and the Doctor started questioning me about what was going on in my life. I finally fessed up and spilled my guts. After 5 days in the hospital I was released with follow up visits for the post surgery progress and most importantly a referral to a shrink. I followed his advice and got myself on some meds. I have to honestly say that once I was regulated on my meds my life did a 180. I really feel that medication not only saved my career and health. It literally saved my life. I strongly urge you see a professional and do whats needed to get your health back.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5825 | Registered: Nov 2007
forlornheart
♀ 40726
Member # 40726
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just started an antidepressant 2 weeks ago and something for anxiety. I'm having a hard time getting through this. Each day just more of the same....tears and pain. I'm also struggling to get food down. Sleep is barely 3 hours a night and that broken. I'm hoping something breaks soon...otherwise I'm afraid it will be me. Take care...I'm sorry you have to go through this.


Me: 48- BW
Him: 45-WH-chronic cheater, PA and EA
Current Her: Mid to late 30's fatassed, no necked, troglodyte
D Day: August 23, 2013
Separated: August 23, 2013


Posts: 52 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Michigan
suposd2btheonly1
♀ 40753
Member # 40753
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG Stonger that is TERRIBLE! Im so happy to hear that you are doing better but damn that makes my heart hurt for you

The soonest my Dr can see me is the 17th, Im thinking Monday I will be sick and have to go in for a visit. I cant wait that much longer.


Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

Posts: 206 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
topperoff22
♀ 40762
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm taking ativan for anxiety.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
Nest2007
♀ 39532
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm on anti depressants to deal with the severe depression and anxiety I suffer thanks to the A. Best move I made post DDay. I can now sleep and function, and best of all, think clearly.


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
Uhtred
♂ 40392
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm taking Seroquel Xr and Remeron for depression. It does help a bit but it sort of leaves me like a zombie at times. At least I'm getting the sleep I so desperately needed in order to function at work. I also take a supplement fish oil, b3, and multivitamin. I hope to get off the seroquel soon. I'm still just as depressed but am sleeping now which was the goal.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 627 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
FeelingMN
♂ 32240
Member # 32240
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was prescribed anti-depressants when I was going through very beginning and had suffered from very deep depression because of FWW ONS, TT'ing, gas lighting, etc. I made a couple of really poor choices and wound up in the psych ward a couple of times. I was able to get help and the message that they really tried to pound into my head was the pills will only get you so far and that there are studies that show that exercise is a key element to overcoming depression. It was difficult to start a regimen but was instrumental in my recovery. We all know the feeling when just breathing seems difficult enough but getting physical will begin to make a difference.


Me 41
fWW 37
DD(19), DS(17), DD(11) (Mine, hers, ours)
Together 14y, Married 12
DDay Aug 2010, 4 mos TT & gaslighting
ONS + EA after 15yr Class reunion out of state

Posts: 267 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Minnesota
ontheslope
♂ 40574
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only other advice I'll add to what everyone else has posted is to second how exercise can be a fantastic medicine on its own. There are a ton of natural endorphins released as part of exercising, and it really helps to clear the mind. It also helps with sleep, as you body understands the language of exercise - it KNOWS it needs to heal the physical toll that exercise takes, and that sometimes can help with sleeping.

I started running about 4 months ago, and it has been a godsend. I started small. Running and walking, and slowly built up to the point where my normal morning runs are 3-5 miles. They are 40 or so minutes where my brain is clear and the thoughts stop. At some point you just get into a zone, and your mind will find ways to distract you from the effort, and it seems to pick what it wants you to think about on its own. And after I run, I meditate and stretch, and do deep breathing exercises, and they help as well.

Meds can help - I have something that I can take for when things get really bad (xanax), but there are other things that I think can help just as much, and exercise is at the top of that list.

[This message edited by ontheslope at 10:41 AM, September 30th (Monday)]


Me: BH, 36
Her: WW, 37
Two girls 8 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 269 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
womaninflux
♀ 39667
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I resisted getting on antidepressants for awhile. My reasoning was that I wanted to be totally aware of what I was experiencing - did not want to dull it at all, did not want to make the mistake of minimizing that it "is not so bad..." Another reason was that I did not want to gain weight because I am in the process of losing a lot of weight. One of my friends who has had a history of depression shared her story when I confided in her about H's affair and she urged me to get on antidepressants. I'm really glad I took her advice and went to the doctor. I'm taking Wellbutrin and it has helped a lot. With the combination of therapy and Wellbutrin (and Ativan as needed), I'm getting through this. I've beenon Wellbutrin about 3 months now and I'm crying a lot less and feel stronger and more capable of making better decisions.


BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 910 | Registered: Jun 2013
surviving1963
♀ 40393
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forlornheart - my heart aches for you and I feel your pain. I often felt like I was going to have a breakdown. The pain of betrayal is completely debilitating- crippling emotionally/mentally/physically. Meds don't make it go away, but they do help you to somehow cope through each day. I think I am stronger now than I was 18 months ago. I don't cry all the time. I am still very sad/depressed, but the gut wrenching pain is not as bad. Take care of yourself. Thinking about you


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 120 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
jemimapd
♀ 37895
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! After getting to the point where I was suicidal. I really regret waiting so long to get help....

Paxil
Ativan
Ambien

I have got strong enough in the last 3 months to file for divorce. The meds and the support of friends and this site have turned my life around.


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
surviving1963
♀ 40393
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lifesavers:

My wonderful support system of family and friends who never seem to tire of me needing to talk about this so I can heal.

This website - you guys are in the "trenches" with me and completely understand.

Zoloft
Klonopin
Ambien

I want to someday be the "helper", not the "helpee".



Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 120 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
Topic Posts: 30
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