I wish I had posted this here first to get your guys opinions before sending it. Really feeling foolish about not having thought about getting other trusted opinions before sending it.
Also feeling pretty lame that I didn't do this in person. I should have waited and talked to her about it in person, I mean this is my marriage we are talking about.....and my kids and I chose to send this when I won't be home for another three damned weeks.....wtf was I thinking!!!
She responded obviously. And I'll get to that in a second.
A for your questions, ill try to answer them but I'm on a well site right now typing this on my iPad (wow what an age we live in)
Topper, blobette, and milkshake.....thank you so much for caring. It helps to know others feel what your going through.
Sissoon I have told her numerous times what I wanted and need over the last two years and she has made virtually no effort. She deleted all of the text messages in a hidden text message app that hid your messages from your spouse designed for cheaters and thus I told her I wanted a log of the texts because she remembered them all very well, but I wanted it written out. She has every excuse in the book why she can't get this done. No time, etc etc.....even though she found time to spend hours on end loolong up lingerie for me to buy her so she could model for other ,man. I also.wanted a timeline of events and the affair.....also never happened.
I feel like asking for these again is pointless and I should haves had them long ago if she cared about my recovery at all. I'm tired of having to walk her through this, when she should be devoting at least as much energy to me as she did to douche bag for so many months.
The why to me is very important as she needs to know how to prevent it in the future. There is just a total lack of effort on her part.
Also she lot about 65 pounds for this prick while I had her and loved her atn200lbs for over ten years, hearing every reAson why she couldn't lose the weight (I always bought junk food, I took her out to eat to often, I etc I etc, she needed new workout clothes, gym merberships etc)
Then as soon as she started talking to him, she instantly overcame all that and started working out in our bedroom ( in a space aboutn6x3). And she made healthy eating choices and ate right.....all of a sudden with the proper motivation she had no trouble. Now that he's gone now, she has begun putting it back on again. Gone are the healthy habits that she portrayed for him. And I've voiced this concern that I can't be seen as the guy who's wive became a smoking hottie for her boyfriend but her husband had to put up with him just not being worth the same effort as boyfriend to everyone who saw her. And for those who might ask yeah I'm in great physical shape.
20 - you raise some good points, and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm done or if subconscious just wants something else.
I will say to clarify, is that affairs are the perfect way to end a marriage because of all the dynamics that go into it, so that more of what I believe they mean by it than it always being meant to kill the marriage.
Her response was about her being so sorry, she thought she was doing everything she could, blah blah blah. She was crying and wanted the old me back.....to which I replied that I believe that guy is gone and I am all that remains.
I'm just the old classic Chevy in great shape, mint even....but lacking that new car smell....and she went and test drove the new car.....plastic and cheap with no real soul....but she wanted it.....and only when she was told that she didn't qualify for the new one, did she seek to make do with her old faithful classic........until it got t boned and now is in tatters.
Love of my life -
Me: BH 34, Her: WW - 36,
3.5 years together, happier than I've ever been in life.
First woman
Me: BH - 28, Her: WW - 31, 10 years, 5 months, 6 days.
2 beautiful daughters. 1 devious, deceitful, serpant-like liar of a