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Retrouvaille

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heforgotme posted 9/29/2013 20:12 PM

WH scheduled it! Like coordinated our schedules to find a date that would work, contacted the leaders, filled out the registration....everything!

Holy cow!

jo2love posted 9/29/2013 20:19 PM

SisterMilkshake posted 9/29/2013 20:21 PM

Very, very cool! I'm happy for you.

Retrouvaille really was an important turning point in our healing. I feel for me it sealed the deal in that I knew that my FWH was really into me and our marriage. He put so much effort into the weekend, didn't shirk one single exercise. What he was able to reveal to me that weekend put him in a whole new wonderful light for me.

Be prepared to work hard. It isn't a leisurely weekend. It is so worth all of the hard work, though. Good luck!

eta: to fix word

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 8:21 PM, September 29th (Sunday)]

emotionalgirl posted 9/29/2013 20:22 PM

Holy cow is right. So happy for you!

Deeply Scared posted 9/29/2013 21:20 PM

Awesome!!

Even tho you're in a group setting, all your exercises are done in private and you're never asked to share anything unless you volunteer to. Don't be turned off the the religious tone, it's very mild and you're not obligated to attend morning Mass, but it's there if you choose to participate.

If you can, take the following Monday off, you both will be completely, emotionally exhausted and will need time to re-charge.

The whole point to the program is to give you the tools to communicate openly and honestly and really hear the other person. You'll carry the communication tools with you from here on out.

Everything is very private, you are never asked to share anything, unless you volunteer to do so. I highly recommend you take your favorite pen or pencil...you'll be writting alot. Once a day or so the priest who was doing some of the presentations asked a sort of, "Anybody like to share about how it's going" type of question. People gave fairly general comments, but there were a few who got emotional. It was completely voluntary though.

You are never asked to read what you’ve written to the group. If you or your FWS is a private person, he doesn't need to worry a bit. At the end of the weekend, you'll be given an envelope, and you offer what you can afford. Our weekend cost approximately $250.00 per person, this includes all your workshop materials, 3 meals a day and lodging. You are not required to donate anything, they only ask you give as much as you are comfortable with…it’s completely anonymous. If you can’t afford to donate anything, no one will know the difference.

MH and I were blessed with being able to pay for both our expenses and we covered partial cost for another couple…again, completely anonymous. This is all done in the privacy of your room.


kickboxer posted 9/29/2013 21:48 PM

I would REALLY like to attend one of these, but the only one offered in our area does the 12 f/u classes on an evening that I'm working. There's absolutely no possible way for me to reschedule that shift for 12 consecutive weeks.

Is it worth the weekend experience if you go into it knowing you can't complete the 12 week follow up sessions?

kickboxer posted 9/29/2013 21:48 PM

I would REALLY like to attend one of these, but the only one offered in our area does the 12 f/u classes on an evening that I'm working. There's absolutely no possible way for me to reschedule that shift for 12 consecutive weeks.

Is it worth the weekend experience if you go into it knowing you can't complete the 12 week follow up sessions?

StillStanding1 posted 9/29/2013 23:56 PM

The weekend itself is wonderful and very insightful. It started the dialogue between my H and myself. The follow-ups are important as they start tackling other "foundations" of a healthy M. They really want you to commit to all of it.

My H and I went to a couple followups (ours were Sat. nights 2 hours away!) and it was really hard to continue when we had other life events happening (DD's prom, etc.) However, that said, that group probably hosts these sessions regularly and you can always jump in to a follow up session that you missed a few months later. They are piloting some on-line ones as well (I didn't try these either).

Even if it's just a one weekend "let's get reconnected" thing for you, I believe it's still very beneficial. But just like physical therapy after an injury, the regular follow-up is important. Equally as important is doing the recommended daily exercises.

My H and I didn't continue the exercises and our communication has definitely gone downhill lately...

heforgotme posted 9/30/2013 03:50 AM

Is it worth the weekend experience if you go into it knowing you can't complete the 12 week follow up sessions?

We will not be able to do them either, so I will let you know. We are going to have to drive 4 hours to get there, so it would be impossible.

kickboxer posted 9/30/2013 10:20 AM

THANK YOU!!! I'll be anxious for your feedback :)

Also, if I could "like" this post, I totally would!!!

heforgotme posted 10/21/2013 08:50 AM

Update:

We got back last night and it was everything we expected and more. I would say, run, don't walk, to get registered.

DS, you weren't kidding about us being emotionally exhausted (but in a good way). All the kids were late to school this morning lol.

We will only be able to attend 2 of the 6 follow up sessions due to his schedule and the distance. But I will report back on them after we go.

MylarPineapples posted 10/21/2013 09:15 AM

I'm glad to hear you had a good experience. We are scheduled to attend in a couple of months, and I hope it will be worthwhile.

Skan posted 10/21/2013 15:16 PM

Please remember that once you've attended a weekend, you can go to ANY post-session at ANY time they are offered. We had to miss one and we attended another group's session to get it. And if we want or need to repeat, we can just keep going to post-sessions for as long as we want, so if you find that you have a time later on when you CAN go, you're encouraged to do so.

You should have a list of the mentoring couples who were there on your weekend along with their contact info. Contact one of them, ask them about CORE and when/where those are held in your area. (((hugs)))

And keep working the program. Even if and especially when the two of you aren't feeling the love. That's when it can be most important!

jo2love posted 10/21/2013 15:46 PM

Thank you for the update.

ILINIA posted 10/21/2013 16:17 PM

Yeah! We loved it as well, it gave us the push we needed. We did the first session, but had to missed the second week. We could tell we were a bit off, so looking forward to this weekend!

Silentthoughts posted 10/21/2013 16:42 PM

This post gave me the push to get info. Just put in a request. There is a weekend in a few months close by. I'm gonna talk to h about it tonight. Thanks for the kick start!

blakesteele posted 10/21/2013 20:03 PM

There is one in February...wife is interested...we are really considering doing this.

God be with us all.

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