Retrouvaille really was an important turning point in our healing. I feel for me it sealed the deal in that I knew that my FWH was really into me and our marriage. He put so much effort into the weekend, didn't shirk one single exercise. What he was able to reveal to me that weekend put him in a whole new wonderful light for me.
Be prepared to work hard. It isn't a leisurely weekend. It is so worth all of the hard work, though. Good luck!
eta: to fix word
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 8:21 PM, September 29th (Sunday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Even tho you're in a group setting, all your exercises are done in private and you're never asked to share anything unless you volunteer to. Don't be turned off the the religious tone, it's very mild and you're not obligated to attend morning Mass, but it's there if you choose to participate.
If you can, take the following Monday off, you both will be completely, emotionally exhausted and will need time to re-charge.
The whole point to the program is to give you the tools to communicate openly and honestly and really hear the other person. You'll carry the communication tools with you from here on out.
Everything is very private, you are never asked to share anything, unless you volunteer to do so. I highly recommend you take your favorite pen or pencil...you'll be writting alot. Once a day or so the priest who was doing some of the presentations asked a sort of, "Anybody like to share about how it's going" type of question. People gave fairly general comments, but there were a few who got emotional. It was completely voluntary though.
You are never asked to read what you’ve written to the group. If you or your FWS is a private person, he doesn't need to worry a bit. At the end of the weekend, you'll be given an envelope, and you offer what you can afford. Our weekend cost approximately $250.00 per person, this includes all your workshop materials, 3 meals a day and lodging. You are not required to donate anything, they only ask you give as much as you are comfortable with…it’s completely anonymous. If you can’t afford to donate anything, no one will know the difference.
MH and I were blessed with being able to pay for both our expenses and we covered partial cost for another couple…again, completely anonymous. This is all done in the privacy of your room.
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
Is it worth the weekend experience if you go into it knowing you can't complete the 12 week follow up sessions?
My H and I went to a couple followups (ours were Sat. nights 2 hours away!) and it was really hard to continue when we had other life events happening (DD's prom, etc.) However, that said, that group probably hosts these sessions regularly and you can always jump in to a follow up session that you missed a few months later. They are piloting some on-line ones as well (I didn't try these either).
Even if it's just a one weekend "let's get reconnected" thing for you, I believe it's still very beneficial. But just like physical therapy after an injury, the regular follow-up is important. Equally as important is doing the recommended daily exercises.
My H and I didn't continue the exercises and our communication has definitely gone downhill lately...
We will not be able to do them either, so I will let you know. We are going to have to drive 4 hours to get there, so it would be impossible.
Also, if I could "like" this post, I totally would!!!
We got back last night and it was everything we expected and more. I would say, run, don't walk, to get registered.
DS, you weren't kidding about us being emotionally exhausted (but in a good way). All the kids were late to school this morning lol.
We will only be able to attend 2 of the 6 follow up sessions due to his schedule and the distance. But I will report back on them after we go.
You should have a list of the mentoring couples who were there on your weekend along with their contact info. Contact one of them, ask them about CORE and when/where those are held in your area. (((hugs)))
And keep working the program. Even if and especially when the two of you aren't feeling the love. That's when it can be most important!
D-Day, June 10, 2012
God be with us all.