Though this story isn't related to my A or infidelity, it illustrates how I am starting to change my behaviors and thought process so I wanted to share.
My DD is 4 and often plays outside with the little girl who lives across the street...if you ask my DD she will tell you the other little girl is her best friend.
For the last week the little girl has not wanted to play with my DD...she runs inside when we come outside and will tell my DD she doesn't want to play. Her parents have also been very cold towards my BH and I and have not been talking to us. Yesterday my DD continuously asked the little girl to play and was told no. My DD began to cry and we came inside.
I then went and approached the parents of the other girl and asked if something had happened. The mother immediately responded and mentioned a day last week when my DD was not playing nicely with her daughter and said my DD "dragged her daughter across the street by her bike helmet and slammed her face into the car."
The mother then said that I did nothing to stop my DD and her daughter doesn't want to play with mine cuz my DD is always mean to her and she isn't going to make her play with my daughter.
For the record, it wasn't nearly as aggressive as what the other mother made it out to be. She was definitely over exagerating. I did tell my DD to stop, but perhaps I should have done more. I didn't think it was as serious as the other mother made it out to be...but I still apologized to the mother for my DD actions and also for not stepping in more. I also said I hope the girls can still play together in the future.
I then explained to my DD that I had talked to the other little girls mother and told her she was sad that my DD was not nice to her and hurt her feelings. I had my DD make a card for the little girl, apologizing for hurting her, and then had her bring it to the little girl.
Now this is where my behaviors and thought processes are beginning to change. Had this happened a few months ago, my reaction would have been much different. I would have argued with the mother and told her that I thought she was over reacting and being ridiculous and it probably would have turned into a bigger issue.
But the "New Alyssa" swallowed my pride, and tried to look at it from her point of view. I do understand why she was upset and where she was coming from, to a certain extent. Although I still disagree, I think I handled it in a much more appropriate way. I listened to her side of the story and had my DD apologize for what she had done, and also apologized for what I hadn't done.