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Going to See Mr. McOgreLover in a Few Hours

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StillLivin posted 9/30/2013 12:08 PM

My nerves are on edge. Going to review the 180 a few times in the next 2 hours.
I was doing pretty good so far. Saturday my attorney asked me to try and negotiate with him personally. Long story won't waste time explaining. I really really didn't want to do deal with him personally. I guess I knew instintively that the past few weeks of 180 and NC would only bring out the worst in him. did. Were talking about financial stuff, when out of the blue he starts ranting and raving how I'm "taking him to the cleaners" (only asking for 5% of his base salary to help me out the next 3 years with school since I paid for his kids' college and helped him too during the M).
He then told me as lound and cruelly as he could that the only reason I'm "doing all of this stuff" to him is because he doesn't want me anymore, doesn't want to come home, and that he doesn't love me anymore. OMG this hurt so bad. And even though I logically know that he was doing it for the OW's benefit (I could hear her in the close background from time to time making snippy comments), and to hurt me because I've built walls around my heart. Oh and because he humiliated himself in front of our neighbors a week back.
But it HURT! I broke down and cried on the phone and hung up after telling him that he was the one that was evil and bitter.
So, trying to steal myself and need all the encouragement I can get before facing him for, hopefully, the last time.

lieshurt posted 9/30/2013 12:18 PM

You can do this. He's a sorry asshole and that will never change.


heartache101 posted 9/30/2013 12:19 PM

Maybe he won't be so evil if the OW isn't there?
Are you meeting at the lawyers office? IDK? What if any good it will be to meet with someone that is that evil?? 'Cept suck the life out of you? KWIM?
Good luck..

StillLivin posted 9/30/2013 12:30 PM

I'm not really going to meet with him, more as we both have to go to the attorney's office and sign paperwork. I have to go on my lunch hour and he is choosing to be there at the same time. If I could control him not going the same time as me, this wouldn't even be an issue.

h0peless posted 9/30/2013 17:13 PM

I hope it went OK. It gets so much easier when you don't have to be in their physical presence.

StillLivin posted 9/30/2013 17:53 PM

I cannot fall back into the pit of trying to figure him out.
It went as to be expected. He was nasty and said things hurtful trying to provoke a tearful outburst.
Then, at the end, I left. Forgot something, came back. I caught him red handed good mouthing me. Talking about how smart "his wife" is. Some other stuff too.
When he realized I was behind him, he actually blushed and looked like he got caught being naughty.
This crap is sooo confusing. It's mentally draining. Don't want to be around him anymore cuz i think he is certifiable.

anewday78 posted 9/30/2013 18:11 PM

I caught him red handed good mouthing me. Talking about how smart "his wife" is. Some other stuff too.When he realized I was behind him, he actually blushed and looked like he got caught being naughty.
This is so ass backwards, it must be maddening! Usually it's the other way around - nice to your face and nasty behind your back. I bet he realizes that he made a colossal mistake, but it's too late to do anything about it so he figures if he makes you hate him, he'll convince himself that what you had was truly worth leaving.

[This message edited by anewday78 at 6:12 PM, September 30th (Monday)]

StillLivin posted 9/30/2013 18:51 PM

But, he signed everything I asked for in the consent form at my attorney's earlier, and I won't have to spend thousands more on the attorney goiing to court. He made a huge fuss over stupid stuff like he wasn't going to agree. Then he just caved. He even gave me $300 instead of the $150 he owed me for fixing the truck. But then he says the meanest, cruelest things to try and make me cry. Most times I don't engage, but he hit the jealousy and insecurity buttons Saturday. I won't make that mistake again...usually good about never making the same mistake twice.
I have to shake my head and clear the crazy out when he does stuff like this.
If I try and analyze it, he sucks me right back in. WTF is wrong with him and the others like this. How can they love you and resent/hate you at the exact same time.
I'm gonna go home after work and drink lots of wine and go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day.

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