SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

MJane posted 9/30/2013 13:03 PM

Anybody tried an Imago therapist - we had our first MC with one today - started with few minutes on how I found out about the affair and then went immediately to mirroring which is where the spouse has to repeat back what is said to them (my husband had to tell reasons why he "detached". I'm on the fence as it was a very weird session and in many ways we didn't have my H touch the A at all in discussion - therapist also concluded my H is a very "sensitive man" (he cried a lot and said some touching things about me which frankly inam a bit deaf to at the moment...)to which I responded with more than a bit of sarcasm "interesting that such a sensitive man can watch me be in real pain for many years and sleep with another woman while his wife's in hospital giving birth" - apparently session 2 will deal with the A...just wondering whether any of you have experiences of it? I feel like I am learning as I go along and it did make my H open up even if I feel a lot of what he said is trying to excuse himself....

Missymomma posted 9/30/2013 14:11 PM

Our MC uses some Imago therapy, however my WH has had to do a lot of individual work before we could do some of these exercises. Is this therapist experienced in infidelity and the trauma it causes? Allowing your WH to explain why he was detached sounds alot like letting him blame the marital problems for his poor choices.

Blobette posted 9/30/2013 14:53 PM

I think sometimes MCs feel they have to provide a little carrot to WSs -- your WH isn't going to feel like she's on his side or that it's worth it if she starts out with "well, aren't YOU the selfish shit?" I don't know whether this is what was going on with respect to the "sensitive" comment, but it could be...