Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Lookingupandforw (61875)

User Topic: Venting
♀ 39850
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sitting in the car of a gas station feeling like I want to punch something. I'm waiting for wBF to get off work so we can talk in person. Need to let off some steam, and just vent.

He gave me his email password, and I looked at it today. Two weeks ago he got a call about a job interview. I asked him if he had applied for the position, and he responded that he had several months ago but was just now hearing back. In his email today, I saw an email from September 18th where he submitted his résumé and a letter of recommendation for the position, and then he got the call for the interview a couple days later. Soooo... Why the lie to me about not applying? My theory was because the email said he was told about the position from his old boss, who knew about and encouraged the A with coworker. He no longer works there, and told me yesterday that he hasn't talked to they man in months.

So I emailed him about what I found. He responded with this stuff about how he didn't consider that applying since he didn't do an application. Also said he hasn't talked to the boss, and that was a lie to the company since they know his old boss.

Several emails later with me breaking the questions up, he says that he didn't tell me about the resume because he thought it would cause an argument. And gave me two reasons why he thought that.

Finally. The truth. I should have stopped there, but I tried to then make him see why I ask so many questions in order to get the full truth.

His response: You asked me a question. I answered it. To you it may look like I was lying. To me, I answered your question, and then you asked another. This is why I said "Semantics" earlier. To me........I don't consider it "applying" for a job.

I just feel like punching something. I mean, seriously. I am so frustrated.

[This message edited by Lonelygirl10 at 4:12 PM, September 30th (Monday)]

Posts: 1758 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh pleeeeze, submitting a resume and recommendations isn't "applying" for a job? Bullshit.

Look, my FWH is sitting right next to me. He's been laid off and he's looking for a job. He has several headhunters also looking for him. So I asked him, honey, when do you consider that you have applied for a job.

He gave me a very quizzical look and said, when I send a resume in for consideration. I asked, not when you read about the job, not when you talk to the headhunter, but when you take the step of sending in the resume.

Well, he said, sometimes the headhunter sends in the resume for me, but once the resume has been sent to the company, that indicates that you are interested in the job and wish to apply. Quite often the company will review and then send you forms to fill out on-line but sending in the resume is the very first step in applying for a job.

I asked, is this industry standard for software/computer positions or is that considered to be the norm. He REALLY gave me a strange look and reminded me that I hire people upon occasion and asked what I considered to be an application. Point taken when the applicant sends in a resume.

So, evidently your WH is clueless about the steps for applying for a job, or he, more likely, wanted to hide the fact that he was in contact with his old boss which he was not supposed to be. You have every right to be steamed. He was snowballing you.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10206 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 39850
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, he finally admitted that it was a lie. And admitted that he had been in contact with the old boss.

It's so stupid. The lie is so much worse than the actual thing he lied about.

Posts: 1758 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 3

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.