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Newest Member: Iambroken1976 (45759)

User Topic: a bit of a rant, (I bow to Tesla), and a lot of grieving
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My poor boys.

It hard to stay mad, when I see them stoically and painfully deal with the ineptness of their idiot father.

Last night I spent 4 hours in the ER with DS9 because dad dropped him off with an injury that needed xrays. Not the first time the idiot has pulled this stunt. No call, no warning, no "I am going straight to the ER, meet us there." No.

They get dropped and he is gone before I even get the details from DS.

Was I mad? Oh, hell yes, I was mad. DS thought I was mad at him and I had to shut the mad down. (6 xrays, no broken bones, bad sprain). Silver lining? I did not have to endure the ER with Stretch and his inane idiocy. Is that redundant?

More heart break today.

DS12, my soccer guy. His Y team (coached by Stretch) has had a solid start to the season. NEVER before has DS been on a winning team. In fact, there have been seasons without a single win. Undefeated the first four games into the season. Until tonight. The team forfeited because they did not have a coach. He was a no show.

He currently does not have a cell phone, or a house phone. (Or a job) No way to track down coach/dad/irresponsible POS.

He shows up right after the refs call the forfeit. Oh, boy. DS is pissed! His body language is brittle glass and poison daggers.

For the first time I fully appreciated how the stinging comments about how stupid his father is hurts him. The sidelines are full of questions about the coach's absence. I know how it will feel if he hears them. His teammates are upset, and he is catching some of that because he is "coach's son." My heart breaks a little for him.

I get a "sorry" from Stretch as he walks past our car. And an accusatory, "I don't have a phone." SOOOOOOO, NOT MY FAULT. Whatever, dude.

DS won't speak or look at his father. I tell Stretch we had 6 xrays at the ER last night. "Sorry." Yes, there really isn't much to add.

I actually thought (very very briefly) about purchasing a prepaid phone for the idiot so his children could "remind" him of things and otherwise not reach out to him. But you know what? He could figure that one out on his own if he wanted to. I did. Had an emergency only prepaid cell for years.

He is such a "sorry" guy.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5918 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
rainagain
♀ 14917
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just hugs.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1299 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still cringe whenever I hear, "I said I was sorry!!!"

Somehow they think that saying "sorry" will wipe the slate clean, and it just doesn't.

Seriously, Care...FTG. And you know I'm not one to say that.

How was it your fault that he didn't have a phone? Wasn't it his responsibility to show up in the first place? What did he tell the other parents?

((((Care))))


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn. That's one cold-hearted father. Thank god those kids have you.

How did DS9 get hurt? How long was he in pain before dickhead brought him home? Because that sounds like neglect of the sort that involves CPS and can change custody agreements....


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3158 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How was it your fault that he didn't have a phone?

Um, haven't you heard? It is ALL my fault. Global warming, cost of gas, him cheating, the jobs he lost, his car problems, financial issues, daylight savings, taxes, I have SO much power.

But seriously? I think that he doesn't have money for a phone. Can't convince anyone to pay for his phone. Somehow this is my fault because if I didn't exist, he wouldn't be evil? NPD logic. Someone write a book or a proof or something.

Wasn't it his responsibility to show up in the first place?

That big long "r" word is not in his dictionary.

What did he tell the other parents?

He got the time wrong. Thought the game was at 6:30. But it was at 5:30. It happens. And if you are human, forgivable. Alas, it is one more slight in the long list of failures. He had nothing to do all day, and he still missed the game time. And the moms who were talking about running home after work to start dinner and get to the field, and the players who came from one game, rushed to change jerseys and get to the field, and he moseys in with "I forgot? misremembered?"

OH, that's how it is my fault. That used to be MY job. To remind, remember, and nag him to be on time and where he was supposed to be! And IF he had a phone, I could have still done it! or been truly at fault for NOT doing it. I figured it out.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5918 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Grace and Flowers
♀ 34431
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dang.

I'm so sorry. It's an all-too-familiar tale to me, so I totally get your frustration and pain.

(((((cg)))))


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1199 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cayc, DS fell. Trampoline (grrrr...) accident. And the timing? An hour? not sure.

But dickhead doesn't have custody. He has visitation. So not much to change.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5918 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((CG)))

ugggh...that's all I can say. I'm so sorry your boys have to deal with this shit


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hexed, me too.

I can't even really rant anymore. Just weary and sad. Ugh, is right.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5918 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That truly sucks for your boys. :(

Really glad there were no broken bones though.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((cg's boys and teammates))))


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26212 | Registered: Aug 2011
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup...I'm supposed to be the one that keeps ex on top of things too.

I finally stopped. Just...stopped. He would text me, "Where is that dr's appointment?" I would respond..."go look at the original email." He would retort, "Stop being a bitch and just tell me, it is easier and I don't feel like looking up the email."

I learned to find my crickets. Or, I responded with, "I am no longer your personal secretary."

I stopped reminding him about school meeting, dr's offices, soccer games. Eventually he got the hint that I will not be his secretary any longer.

Thank goodness those boys have you.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jeeeeeezuz, what a stupid fucktard. I will never fathom how a person can be so wretched to his own children. These little people are supposed to be our pride and joys. For stretch, FTG is not even close to being enough.

(((((CG and kiddos))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
newlysingle
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FTG!


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 961 | Registered: Mar 2013
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

omg, I am shaking I am so mad for your kids. I would ask "WTF is WRONG with him??!!" but really, there is no point. It would take a team of 50 specially trained psychologist to answer that question.

(((hugs)))


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
ChoosingHope
♀ 33606
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear (((CARE))),

A few thoughts:

FTG!!!!!!!

Thank God your son was okay last night.

Of COURSE it was your fault. What in the world were you thinking when you messed up the time of today's game?!?!?

And this:

I still cringe whenever I hear, "I said I was sorry!!!"

My stomach flips and my heart starts racing when I hear these words. I must have heard them a million times over the years. They are a close second to "What else do you want me to say????" after the NPD could express no empathy or remorse for his latest action.

(((CARE and boys)))


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Oct 2011
FirstLoveGone
♀ 25957
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear god in heaven, I hope that you have reserved a special place in hell for this m-er f-er!

Seriously?! What the fuck is wrong with the whole lot of them?!

I am so god damn angry for your boys! And to boot, this kind of shit triggers me badly.

All I can offer is virtual hugs caregiver. I'm so sorry you and your boys have to deal with this.


Posts: 1278 | Registered: Oct 2009
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For stretch, FTG is not even close to being enough.

There is something seriously wrong with that guy. Seriously, who DOES that? In what universe is it OK to drop your injured child off like that? In what universe is it OK to humiliate your son in front of his teammates like that?

I'm so sorry CG. I'm so sad right now I can't even be mad about this for you Not yet, anyway. I'll soon start daydreaming of starting up a coven to deal with these lower muppets one by one.

This shit goes beyond your usual
selfish, entitled, POS cheater, deadbeat dad. Dude has something seriously wrong in his head.

Hugs for your boys, hugs for your hurting mamma heart.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5660 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Stretch is a fucktard....we ALL know that.

I'm having trouble understanding why the game had to be forfeited just because the *head* coach wasn't there. Due to my kids, I've been involved in sports for many years, and the only time they ever had to forfeit was because they didn't have enough players. The typical *head* coach has at least a couple of assistant/satellite coaches that are able to act as *stand-ins*. It happened this past weekend with my youngest son's baseball team. He had a double-header.....*main* coach had to leave after Game 1. His team didn't have to forfeit the second game just because the *head* coach wasn't there...."assistant" coach took over. And recruited my oldest son (who just happened to be home for the weekend) to help him. No harm, no foul, and baseball was played.

Tell Stretch to shove his *sorry's* up his ass.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8188 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
myalterego
♀ 32756
Member # 32756
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so sorry to hear that : (

different leagues have different rules regarding coaches - we had a volleyball game where the coach was running late and a dad was going to step in (he had a clue). It wasn't allowed - primarily due to insurance reasons I think. Namely, the "certified" coach was insured by USA Volleyball and the dad wasn't. We were about 30 sec. away from forfeiting because the rules state that a certified coach has to be on the floor with them. We actually met the coach at the door and parked her car and told her to "RUN" to the court so they didn't forfeit. Needless to say, the girls were a bit flustered and didn't play well. Not a great way to start a full day tournament.


Posts: 137 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 22
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