It hard to stay mad, when I see them stoically and painfully deal with the ineptness of their idiot father.
Last night I spent 4 hours in the ER with DS9 because dad dropped him off with an injury that needed xrays. Not the first time the idiot has pulled this stunt. No call, no warning, no "I am going straight to the ER, meet us there." No.
They get dropped and he is gone before I even get the details from DS.
Was I mad? Oh, hell yes, I was mad. DS thought I was mad at him and I had to shut the mad down. (6 xrays, no broken bones, bad sprain). Silver lining? I did not have to endure the ER with Stretch and his inane idiocy. Is that redundant?
More heart break today.
DS12, my soccer guy. His Y team (coached by Stretch) has had a solid start to the season. NEVER before has DS been on a winning team. In fact, there have been seasons without a single win. Undefeated the first four games into the season. Until tonight. The team forfeited because they did not have a coach. He was a no show.
He currently does not have a cell phone, or a house phone. (Or a job) No way to track down coach/dad/irresponsible POS.
He shows up right after the refs call the forfeit. Oh, boy. DS is pissed! His body language is brittle glass and poison daggers.
For the first time I fully appreciated how the stinging comments about how stupid his father is hurts him. The sidelines are full of questions about the coach's absence. I know how it will feel if he hears them. His teammates are upset, and he is catching some of that because he is "coach's son." My heart breaks a little for him.
I get a "sorry" from Stretch as he walks past our car. And an accusatory, "I don't have a phone." SOOOOOOO, NOT MY FAULT. Whatever, dude.
DS won't speak or look at his father. I tell Stretch we had 6 xrays at the ER last night. "Sorry." Yes, there really isn't much to add.
I actually thought (very very briefly) about purchasing a prepaid phone for the idiot so his children could "remind" him of things and otherwise not reach out to him. But you know what? He could figure that one out on his own if he wanted to. I did. Had an emergency only prepaid cell for years.
He is such a "sorry" guy.
Somehow they think that saying "sorry" will wipe the slate clean, and it just doesn't.
Seriously, Care...FTG. And you know I'm not one to say that.
How was it your fault that he didn't have a phone? Wasn't it his responsibility to show up in the first place? What did he tell the other parents?
How did DS9 get hurt? How long was he in pain before dickhead brought him home? Because that sounds like neglect of the sort that involves CPS and can change custody agreements....
How was it your fault that he didn't have a phone?
Um, haven't you heard? It is ALL my fault. Global warming, cost of gas, him cheating, the jobs he lost, his car problems, financial issues, daylight savings, taxes, I have SO much power.
But seriously? I think that he doesn't have money for a phone. Can't convince anyone to pay for his phone. Somehow this is my fault because if I didn't exist, he wouldn't be evil? NPD logic. Someone write a book or a proof or something.
Wasn't it his responsibility to show up in the first place?
That big long "r" word is not in his dictionary.
What did he tell the other parents?
He got the time wrong. Thought the game was at 6:30. But it was at 5:30. It happens. And if you are human, forgivable. Alas, it is one more slight in the long list of failures. He had nothing to do all day, and he still missed the game time. And the moms who were talking about running home after work to start dinner and get to the field, and the players who came from one game, rushed to change jerseys and get to the field, and he moseys in with "I forgot? misremembered?"
OH, that's how it is my fault. That used to be MY job. To remind, remember, and nag him to be on time and where he was supposed to be! And IF he had a phone, I could have still done it! or been truly at fault for NOT doing it. I figured it out.
I'm so sorry. It's an all-too-familiar tale to me, so I totally get your frustration and pain.
But dickhead doesn't have custody. He has visitation. So not much to change.
ugggh...that's all I can say. I'm so sorry your boys have to deal with this shit
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
I can't even really rant anymore. Just weary and sad. Ugh, is right.
Really glad there were no broken bones though.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
I finally stopped. Just...stopped. He would text me, "Where is that dr's appointment?" I would respond..."go look at the original email." He would retort, "Stop being a bitch and just tell me, it is easier and I don't feel like looking up the email."
I learned to find my crickets. Or, I responded with, "I am no longer your personal secretary."
I stopped reminding him about school meeting, dr's offices, soccer games. Eventually he got the hint that I will not be his secretary any longer.
Thank goodness those boys have you.
(((((CG and kiddos))))
A few thoughts:
Thank God your son was okay last night.
Of COURSE it was your fault. What in the world were you thinking when you messed up the time of today's game?!?!?
I still cringe whenever I hear, "I said I was sorry!!!"
My stomach flips and my heart starts racing when I hear these words. I must have heard them a million times over the years. They are a close second to "What else do you want me to say????" after the NPD could express no empathy or remorse for his latest action.
(((CARE and boys)))
Seriously?! What the fuck is wrong with the whole lot of them?!
I am so god damn angry for your boys! And to boot, this kind of shit triggers me badly.
All I can offer is virtual hugs caregiver. I'm so sorry you and your boys have to deal with this.
For stretch, FTG is not even close to being enough.
There is something seriously wrong with that guy. Seriously, who DOES that? In what universe is it OK to drop your injured child off like that? In what universe is it OK to humiliate your son in front of his teammates like that?
I'm so sorry CG. I'm so sad right now I can't even be mad about this for you Not yet, anyway. I'll soon start daydreaming of starting up a coven to deal with these lower muppets one by one.
This shit goes beyond your usual
selfish, entitled, POS cheater, deadbeat dad. Dude has something seriously wrong in his head.
Hugs for your boys, hugs for your hurting mamma heart.
I'm having trouble understanding why the game had to be forfeited just because the *head* coach wasn't there. Due to my kids, I've been involved in sports for many years, and the only time they ever had to forfeit was because they didn't have enough players. The typical *head* coach has at least a couple of assistant/satellite coaches that are able to act as *stand-ins*. It happened this past weekend with my youngest son's baseball team. He had a double-header.....*main* coach had to leave after Game 1. His team didn't have to forfeit the second game just because the *head* coach wasn't there...."assistant" coach took over. And recruited my oldest son (who just happened to be home for the weekend) to help him. No harm, no foul, and baseball was played.
Tell Stretch to shove his *sorry's* up his ass.....
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
different leagues have different rules regarding coaches - we had a volleyball game where the coach was running late and a dad was going to step in (he had a clue). It wasn't allowed - primarily due to insurance reasons I think. Namely, the "certified" coach was insured by USA Volleyball and the dad wasn't. We were about 30 sec. away from forfeiting because the rules state that a certified coach has to be on the floor with them. We actually met the coach at the door and parked her car and told her to "RUN" to the court so they didn't forfeit. Needless to say, the girls were a bit flustered and didn't play well. Not a great way to start a full day tournament.