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roses303 posted 9/30/2013 20:05 PM

WS has been trying to text me more since dday and I really do appreciate it. We rarely texted before then but he was texting/sexting OW at a rate of up to 5000 texts per month.

I really like the communication part of texting, the checking in, the affirmations etc. but lately he keeps adding stuff like I want to help clean house but I'll do it naked for you and I'm thinking of doing you right now at my desk etc. this turn of the conversation makes me very uncomfortable because he spent so much time sexting with her. Really it kind of grosses me out. If he was sweet and caring and whispered similar things in my ear it wouldn't be quite as bad but in a text it just seems so skeezy. Especially because I know it got him off doing it with her. I've seen only one conversation and picture exchange but it was enough to make me physically ill. Even if I hadn't seen it I still think I would be unsettled because well ick. I see Penis pictures in my head and it is just yuck.

I've told WS how I feel and he seems so disappointed that I don't appreciate his flirting. I admit I don't because "I want to do you"is not flirting to me. It was to her though. Flirting to me is sweet and flattering and being made to feel special. But he just doesn't get it. It is like Howard Wallowitz at a bar with him all push and no class.

I don't really have a question. Just venting a little. I guess if anyone has suggestions on how to teach a guy to flirt, let me know.

[This message edited by roses303 at 8:22 PM, September 30th (Monday)]

womaninflux posted 9/30/2013 20:25 PM

Sexualizing everything, making sexual jokes is a sign of sex addiction. Just saying.

OldCow18 posted 9/30/2013 20:31 PM

I know exactly how you feel. WH was sexting OW and it was RAUNCHY. Now we flirt a little via text, I want to take that back, make it mine, he likes to turn it sexual, but how on earth do you do that when I feel like I'm HER replacement as far as this goes? This is what he did with HER. Impossible situation. The disasterous effects of his A are unlimited. It touches everything. I'll be watching this post for advice as well. Hugs.

suposd2btheonly1 posted 9/30/2013 20:34 PM

My H and I used to sext quite often. It was a fun way to anticipate things to come that night when I got home from work. During his month long A the sexting wasnt as regular bc guess what....he was sexting her instead, while they were at work and when he was at home while I was at work. The same things he would say to me he said to her. So now when he tries to send me racy messages, instead of reciprocating I get sick. I hate it now when before I enjoyed it and I sincerely despise that he took that away from me, from us.

I completely understand where youre coming from. My H doesnt see why I get so upset

roses303 posted 9/30/2013 20:55 PM

Not worried about sex addiction in our case. It is more an issue of not ever getting out of that teenage boy mentality. WS had very few relationships and very few role models of healthy mature relationships.

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