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movingon1981 posted 9/30/2013 22:13 PM

So I'm over a year out and doing well. My ex and his ogre got every bit of karma I could ever hope and never completely wanted. Imprisonment, health issues, financial ruin. Now what? My ex is out of the fog, and I'm out of the fog of romanticizing our relationship but I still haven't moved on. Being a mom of 3 little ones with limited free time prevents me from truly making the next step of dating. I feel like I'm in a major life Pause and I don't know how to hit the play button...thougts...?

movingon1981 posted 9/30/2013 22:21 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v1cbaBeVoc I feel like this a lot of times.

SBB posted 10/1/2013 06:49 AM

Your last DD and mine are 2 days apart. I am well past having any further relationship with the sad clown past parallel parenting.

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year - 50/50 custody. I have lots of free time on my hands and I've been using it to pursue interests/hobbies I had let fall by the wayside, reconnect with old friends and connect with new ones. I'm still getting used to all of the freedom and all of my options.

I am nowhere near ready to date seriously, let alone have an actual relationship.

IMHO moving on doesn't begin or end with a new relationship, it can actually hinder it. I don't think there's a definitive timeline but I expect it will take me another few years to get to a point of even considering it.

Then another few years to be found by and find the lucky fella.

I'm dating casually ATM and that is about as much investment as I'm willing to put into it. Even that is is too hard/complicated sometimes.

I do want to share my life with someone but I've got to get through some healing and growth first lest I carry remnants of that toxic relationship into my future. That scares me far more than either being hurt again or being alone for the rest of my life.

There's no rushing it. The time will come when it is supposed to.