I hear you. I've felt that frustration. On one hand, you could give her a list of things she could do to show remorse and earn trust. Hopefully, she would step up to the plate and do them. On the other side, she should be asking you what she can do and trying to help you heal. I'm sorry she is not making an effort. Sending you strength.
I can tell her, and have, exactly what I need in order to make R successful. I really, really, really, don't want to have to tell her exactly what she has to do to get there. Should I? I'm starting IC tomorrow again to figure that out.
Gently, hints are bullshit, and WSes are effed up. If you ask for specific actions, you'll see how committed she is to R.
Now is the time to think clearly and to present your requirements with vigor and precision. It's time for a drink only if that drink is filtered water.