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Newest Member: Thoreau79 (61121)

User Topic: Returned To Work
♀ 36345
Member # 36345
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So last Monday I returned to work after being off for 6 months on maternity leave. It has been a very tough week for not only me but my husband as well. My AP still works there although I haven't seen him since being back.

My husband has been triggering a lot since I have been back there. I try and help him in any way I can. I have been keeping in contact with him as much as I can.

Right now I work afternoons, which is until midnight. I was thinking of telling work that I can't work afternoons anymore because of a few reasons. Them being 1) Every time I work afternoons I have to catch a cab home which is already starting to add up 2) I don't see our daughter much at all. I see her to the bus stop in the morning to school and then I don't see her until the next morning. That is starting to get to me and we think that might be a reason why she is starting to act up a bit now and 3) My husband is having a bit of a rough time being home with both kids at night time because the baby is at a stage right now where is always wants to be held and played with and our daughter is also needing that attention. So I would be here at night to help with the kids and bed time and everything like that.

Here is where the dilemma is, my AP usually works days. And if I work days, I would be there the same time he is. I still to this day have NC with him and can't even recall the last time I saw him. I know it would be hard for my husband if I worked days and being there the same time as my AP. I am just trying to figure out what to do and what is best for my family.

I am just not sure what to do right now. Should I stay working afternoons or switch to mornings?

Also I am going back to school in December so I will pretty much only be working on Saturdays and Holidays. I know that he will feel a whole lot better when I am gone from there all together.

Not really a point to this, just wanted to share some feelings.

BH (him): 28 ~ FWW (me): 27
Together 9 years
2 kids
D-Day: April 19, 2012

Posts: 167 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 40605
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 12:31 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask your husband what he would prefer and go with that.

Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every day

Posts: 697 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ 36345
Member # 36345
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am going to talk to him more about it. I only brought this up to him tonight. So we are for surely going to talk about it more.

BH (him): 28 ~ FWW (me): 27
Together 9 years
2 kids
D-Day: April 19, 2012

Posts: 167 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 39005
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can understand your sounds like for you and your family it would be best for you to work during the days....especially with two little ones at home. I remember how hard it was for me when my DD was an infant and my BH worked all the time...I can only imagine how much harder it must be with two kids.

As for seeing AP at work its going to be hard for both of you....before I "resigned" from my job being there made me sick to my stomach; even on the days I didn't see my xAP. ...just being reminded of it all was more than I can handle.

You can ask your BH what he wants you to do...but if he's like my BH he will want you nowhere near your AP, even if he doesn't say it. My BH told me repeatedly not to leave my job but once I decided to anyways I think he was relieved that I made the choice on my own.

I think you have written in previous posts that you can't switch jobs right now because you will also be starting school soon. I would however suggest trying to find something part time for now until you start you can be with your family and still have the me, I understand the dilemma. ...I have been out of work for the last 5 weeks and the only income we have right now is my BHs. I have been rolling change for extra money, and am going to consign her clothes this afternoon so I can get her fall clothes.

Leaving your job will be hard and I do get that....but staying will be even worse. At the very least maybe you could change your schedule so you can be home some evenings?

But what if I fall?
Oh Darling, but what if you fly?

Posts: 1269 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 4

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