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catlover50 posted 10/1/2013 06:29 AM

So we are over a year out and I have mostly reached acceptance and even forgiveness. I really feel that my H has changed for good.

This weekend we had a conference out of town. He is past president and on the board. I watched him greet everyone and marveled at how handsome, charming and intelligent he is. I understand how other women would find him attractive (but of course feel that they should leave him the hell alone!) I also know that I have no control over how other people act, including my H. He will likely always have women who make themselves available. The difference is that he is not available.

He wants nothing more than to make me happy and never hurt me again. But, more deeply, he now sees himself as an honest, honorable man and feels such a sense of peace around that. Joy he has found in true emotional intimacy. He likes himself so much better now that I feel that he would be betraying himself as much as me if he were to stray.

He got some bad professional news this weekend and got a bit reflective, and dare I say, a bit snappy at me. When I expressed my concerns he reflected a bit and said that although he did not feel differently towards me, he respected my feelings and would try hard not to react negatively towards me. Then yesterday morning he joined me in the tub to rock my world and make sure I felt connected and loved. That connection and my feelings are paramount to him now. This morning after I took care of the pets and came back upstairs he opened his arms for his morning hug and kiss. As so often happens this led to me wanting more and he happily welcomed me
"aboard". In the past love making always had to be on his terms. I can now be completely free myself.

Months ago I complained that it seemed that my H wasn't doing the "work" the way that I was. Wiser SIers reminded me that not everyone's work looks the same. I realize now that my H has been continuing to grow and change all these months and now is someone that I am proud and eager to love, trust and spend the rest of my life with.

[This message edited by catlover50 at 7:12 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)]

Alex CR posted 10/1/2013 06:45 AM

Such a sweet post! Glad to hear it's going so well.

I think accepting it happened and was part of our history now was the toughest stage for me, but when I finally reached it, I found the peace I had been so desperately seeking.

Thanks for posting the good news!

lucy17 posted 10/1/2013 07:04 AM

Wonderful news! Thank you for sharing!

neverdidithink posted 10/1/2013 08:39 AM

catlover, this brought tears this morning. Thanks for sharing, it's so encouraging to read experiences like this.

Wiser SIers reminded me that not everyone's work looks the same. I realize now that my H has been continuing to grow and change all these months and now is someone that I am proud and eager to love, trust and spend the rest of my life with.

<3

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