Has she always been like this or only since the A? I know during the LTA my WH would get annoyed that I didn't initiate sex. He would also get annoyed at me if I turned over in bed and wasn't touching him. I am really not sure why he acted that way when he was getting it somewhere else, but he did. He also started grabbing me in inappropriate places when I walked by. This really irrated me and would often lead to a fight. I found it very disrespectful and told him to stop doing it many times. I am not sure if she was the reason, but we haven't had the problem since he stopped the A.
I have to tell you, I am not a great initiator, but I also feel that has to do with my level of exhaustion most of the time. Life is busy, and overwhelming, and if you don't have any time to decompress, it makes it hard to even think about sex.
I always tell my H nothing turns me on more than having him cook/clean up dinner, or doing some laundry, and a bit of cleaning. Why? Because I don't have to do it! It allows me a bit of time to relax, and regroup, and think hey some sexy fun time sounds good.
When he wants me to initiate things he will often do something like that for me, and it makes me aware, he also will draw me a bath, and pour me a glass of wine, and send me to go relax a bit. Then he knows I'm gonna wanna.
Just one womans pov.
I am a BS but I know little gestures of affection or appreciation go a long way.
The bath and wine are good ideas. A flower for no reason. Remember the things she likes and do some.
If after some emtional connecting and things don't improve. Try Counseling, it is possible her guilt is messing with her desires. I know for me some times it is hard to want the sex part and it issomething I try to improve.