Evening of July 01, my body went numb. The stunned feeling, the inability to eat, sleep, concentrate. The emotions, wow (I'm a guy so it was uncharted territory!). I had to hold in what I knew for a month due to a son's sporting obligation that was important to him. The emotional hellish rollercoaster I rode. Totally lost myself for awhile. Came on here. Scared to tell anyone, family/friends (finally shared it with one person I could trust, my bro). Had to put on this "face" in the family and in public, when all the while I witnessed her charade (she didn't know I knew).
Finally, after son's sport thing was done, I confronted her soon after. Revealed what I knew. Was civil. Week later, she moved out. Separated, as it is labelled. Awkward for my sons, my family, in-laws, facing my community. Finally decided NOT to try to save marriage. Rumors. Talked with a lawyer. Triggers. The no-contact.
But, after those 3 months, you know what, it DOES get better! You begin to peel off the layers you built to survive with this human being...for 24 years! Things start to make sense. Things start to look up. Don't even miss her. Becoming a better person inside. Getting sleep (finally, for that was a huuuuge problem in the early stages). Confidence is soaring. My youngest son (other son is an adult out in the real world) and I are getting along great. Healthy, eating again, but maintaining the 20 lb weight loss I experienced, which is good (run and work out as well). Find I talk freer with folks in the public, at work, and with my family/in-laws. No one "hates" me, etc. And if there are those that are drawing their own conclusions, spreading false rumors...fuck em! Don't care. Still have some bad moments, but I find ways to calmly deal with them. Decided NOT to let her get to me. And if she does, I come on here to vent! LOL
Just sharing this to maybe give others some perspective on what I, as a guy, went thru and is going thru at the 3 month mark. There is still a long ways to go (lawyers, divorce, splitting assets, money, etc. --- all of that crap). And maybe I will need a counselor in the future. But today, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I just have to keep focussing on the positive thoughts and things, stay healthy, maintain my integrity, and move forward.