Just heard something on NPR about this topic and googled it. Apparently some people who experience a serious traumatic event can use it as a catalyst for true, lasting personal growth. To me, infidelity would qualify!
The articles talk about personal characteristic that tend to make it easier to grow after trauma, like optimism, openness to change, etc. I found it positive because it tells me that it is possible for something good to come out of this crap.
And I think both WSs and BSs experience trauma and can find lasting change for the better.
They even said that the degree of trauma can be related to the degree of change. For me, this is likely why it took such a crisis for my H to finally face himself and do the hard work. Only facing truly losing everything and seeing the extreme pain he caused was enough of a catalyst for lasting change.
Course, this is me again trying to look for the positive!