I'm sorry....but you will never be able to have a normal relationship with this person without having to think about how it came to be in the first place. Do you really want to think about your XWH every time you are with your new SO? I wouldn't.
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
That being said, I'd proceed with a lot of caution. You're both so close to your divorces, timeline-wise, you haven't had time to really heal. I've also learned the hard way that bonding over infidelity, especially when it's shared in this way (your spouses betrayed you with each other) can really skew things.
Just go slow. If it's real, it'll wait.
Someone here posted about marrying the other BS and the two WS married too (I think). The both WS's were killed in an accident and the BS's married and raised the kids together.
So... stranger things have happened....
[This message edited by hurtbs at 8:00 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
But what else do you have in common beside this emotionally charged, shared experience? Are you truly compatible on other ways? If you had met randomly, without the lead-in of the shared betrayal, would you have been attracted to each other? Would you have hit it off?
I would just go slowly and as the divorce waters start to recede, see what you are left with. See if there is enough there to truly build a relationship.
Hugs to you, good luck!
[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 10:57 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords