I don't really have many nice notes from him. They fit in a small envelope, and most of them aren't really that lovey. I don't think I even got a birthday card from him last year. Things I can remember him saying: "Artemisia, our sh*t is so f*$cked up." And, in a conversation about us, I asked if he might do more things to show me he loved me, he said, "it's just that I never feel like I get anything out of that." That, and all the other horrible things he told me about myself when he left.
With sweet notes and loving words, why would you not believe that they loved you? Second-guessing love: that's no way to live your life, because that is how loving people behave. But what do I have? What's my excuse? Nothing. Sometimes I think I just waited around, getting no love, until he left me for her. What does THAT say? I guess that's the common experience of all of us - losing our minds over this stuff a little bit.
I didn't used to think gifts etc were important. I now think it shows how much I undervalued myself and allowed him to do so.
[This message edited by HurtsButImOK at 6:12 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)]
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
Now that you know, you can heal and ultimately find someone who treats you as you deserve because you will no longer tolerate bad behavior.
FWIW, I also tolerated bad behavior for far too long, always making excuses for him. Now I know better, and life will get better from here.
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
