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SurelyNOT (original poster member #40617) posted at 11:29 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
Have to arrange a transfer of money into HER Account, and it is killing me to even have to type in her details - I feel sick to my stomach. 
Day was going okay, until I got the phone call requesting the transfer of funds to HER a/c.
He didn't once ask about his children, how things were, how we were coping, what's up with the girls' returning to school, NOTHING!!! Talk about getting your priorities in order!!!
I think he's not only immersed in his fog, I think she has cast a spell on him.
He used to care about us, how can he switch that off???? 
Junebug0525 ( member #29142) posted at 11:33 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
Me: BS
Him: WXH DDay-11/22/2009~ D~ 10/25/10
OWhore: Co-worker (7 years younger)
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." AND THEY DID!!!
TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 11:55 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
Why are you giving him money? If you have the children, it should be the other way around.
Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!
Them : in the past, where they can stay.
sullymeishadomi ( member #16305) posted at 11:59 PM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2013
^^^
This.
I read your back story trying to figure out why you have to pay him/them. If you are not legally bound, dont do it. He is not financially reaponsible, that is his issue. Not yours. You have two girls to support. She wanted him, let her support him.
[This message edited by sullymeishadomi at 6:05 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)]
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 12:04 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I'm sorry, that's wholly wrong. What is likely to happen is that he will plead he didn't get the money and since it didn't go into his account, he can do that.
Don't put up with this nonsense.
If you don't have a court order, you are not obligated to pay. What is it that you are "paying" for, anyway? Is there a court order?
Cat
[This message edited by Catwoman at 6:05 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)]
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
Kalliopeia ( member #35053) posted at 12:25 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
tell him the check is in the mail.
SurelyNOT (original poster member #40617) posted at 1:13 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
By way of explanation - he does not have a bank account. His wages get paid to my account, just got paid this week. I calculated tax deductions, fees for accountant, and divided the money into three, my two daughters and then him. Also made sure to deduct $500.00 which was the cash Christmas Bonus he got last Christmas, that he swore he did not get, payroll just confirmed that he did in fact get a cash bonus of $500.00. Believe me, there isn't a lot left over when it is divided up.
Just the fact of doing the e-transfer to her makes me sick.
He works away for long spells, currently out West but is returning on Friday next week (Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend) and OW has made appointment at the bank to set up a joint account, and has booked an appointment with the "top immigration lawyer in town" for him. He is also dropping by to move out his stuff, not to see us mind, or check on his children. We have made arrangements to get outta Dodge for the weekend, so there's no fear we will run into them. Cause she is picking him up from the airport, will she be in our home helping him to move his belongings? The very thought makes me ill. I so despise the mess he has created for us, and the fact that she is such a willing accomplice in his abandonment of his family. Filled with anger and resentment, YES I admit it, and once again I ask, why, having done what he has done to us, why is it he gets the happy ever after, and we are left in a million shattered pieces. God but this hurts
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 1:38 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
No.
See an attorney. Now. Anything you give to him is voluntary and could come back to haunt you. You need legal advice like yesterday.
You can send HIM a money order.
She stays out of it.
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
fourever ( member #30631) posted at 1:39 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
Leave him a check. He can pick it up with his shit. Frankly, you don't even have to do that until you are forced too.
Tough shit for those two. I think baby needs new shoes! Take care of yourself, he can figure out his own way to fix the mess. What a loser he turned out to be.
In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.
Always, tell the other BS! Always!
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!
anewday78 ( member #39357) posted at 1:51 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
Why give him any of the money at all? He screwed you over, now let him get screwed over until he gets an account of his own. Then take him to court for child support. In the meantime, she should get a taste of what's to come by being the sole woman in charge of taking care of his irresponsible ass.
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 2:36 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
(((SurelyNOT)))
OMG, I had no idea you were in that situation.
Please don't give him another cent.
Sending you strength
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 3:16 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
And don't let him into your home. Please don't let yourself up for him to steal you blind.
this happened to a other posted and he took the tv and the dog!!
Put his crap on the street and put some new locks on the doors.
And no money for him... or just leave him a money order.
Please oh please don't let him in your home.
Think of it this way..
if the the tables were turned would he show you the same courtesy???
Hell he can't even be bothered to see his kids!!
Sheesh! What an asshat! 
WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown
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