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englishrose (original poster member #34974) posted at 12:25 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I'm struggling, knowing that I have to live with the consequences of his cheating. As if the emotional fallout isn't enough, I have to live with the financial consequences too. I hate it. even moreso I detest knowing that DS is having to do without, even in some small way, as a consequence of fWH and his time with his whore
whilst in his A, fWH got fired from his job - 'cause he was taking so much time off to be with OW. We were apart at that time, and it's clear from the money he (and OW) spent, the spare time, energy, and more importantly space he had only served to fuel the A.
He had no debt prior to his A.
He is now, or rather, WE are now having to pay off his debt.
BTW ow didn't shell out much, it was fWH who was paying. He bought her a new mobile...her H had gps set up on her mobile, and was on her tracks it seems.
I hate that we're now having to cut back because of his A. It makes me so 
me BW 46 WH 43
DS 7
DS's 21 & 19 (my boys - from my previous marriage)
Ddays 3&17/3/2011
purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 12:39 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I have no advice but I wanted you to know you've been heard.
Hugs!
Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???
Flatlined123 ( member #35862) posted at 2:08 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I know what you mean. I've never sat down and figured out the cost, but I'm sure if eveything was all rolled together it'd be in the thousands. That's not including the new ring I got 
It's four years since the affair ended and and I feel like we're just now standing on solid ground again financially.
Hugs to you!
Me: BS H: WS4 kids DD #1 7-11-08DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.Started R in 12-09"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:32 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
brokendancer7 ( member #39911) posted at 5:48 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this garbage! That truly adds insult to injury.
StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 5:50 AM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
I totally hear you. It's just so unfair. I also think the cost of my WH's A was in the thousands. Many thousands. And his business was thriving. Now it's in the dumps and we have debt and a DD going to college next year. Sad that now we don't have reserves set aside to help her. Disgusting, in fact.
Add in all the costs since then -- the apartment, the counseling for us and for our kids, on and on and on...
It really gets me fried too!
So selfish... So totally self-serving. But, hey, he deserved it! If only I had been giving him what he needed, he wouldn't have "needed" to do this. 
Yep. That's right. Selfish much?
And that's my vent... (you got me going, sorry!) No advice to give, just empathy to offer.
Infidelity sucks.
Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R
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