Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: BrnEyes777 (45750)

User Topic: 10/02/01
click4it
♀ 209
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Twelve year ago, my rosey world (where I knew nothing of: being a single mother, of losing a partner, losing my "married with children status", sleeping alone, and the list can go on) came crashing down from one simple look at a phone bill.

Just one half a glance look at a phone bill after a nice day out with my mother and grandmother - and I sat on the toilet while my stomach fell to the floor in disbelief of what I suspected right then and there.

Who knew that the world as we know it can turn around in an instant and change FOREVER?

I sure didn't. I thought my past of being alone, scared and lost were behind me. Truly my ex-husband was my savior at the age of 19. He "saved" me from a life that I wont' get into, but nevertheless, it was not a happy one. I thought I had left all that behind.

We had 10 years of vacations, planning, wedding, kids, buying a home, laughing, building a foundation of our future....and BAM...he took all that and threw it in the trash for a woman who only knew for 2 months.

I cried like I had never cried before. I got skinny like I never had before. Went from 160lbs to 110lbs. People thought I was on drugs. My mom thought I was going to die of starvation. My poor kids - god only knows what emotional damage I did to them during those first two years. Good thing they had my mom here to help. I'm sure I did my best, but I know it was not good enough.

I literally thought I would die. I actually prayed for God to take me at that time because I could not take the pain.

Flash forward 12 years, and I'm a survivor. I have not only survived, but I've lived. I secured a great job, I raised two handsome young men and have been on top of their education as much as I could, I've traveled a bit, I've dated a bit. Now, more than anything I pray to God to not take me now or anytime soon. I pray to God to let me keep living the life I want live. I pray to be thankful for everything I DO have.

I have come to a point in my life where I finally don't "need" anyone anymore. I was constantly in search of a new partner because I thought I'd never be happy unless I had a partner. Granted I hope to have that again someday and I do get very lonely, but I am no longer broken. I am no longer in search of someone else to complete me. I am complete on my own. I am my own person and would only want to share my experiences with someone - not need to them to do an experience, if that makes sense.

I am just typing here, and have not re-read what I am going to post here. Its all from the heart.

I am glad to be ALIVE. I am glad to be FREE.

thank you SI for all your support over these years. I couldn't have done it without you.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
heartbroken_kk
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear member number 209, thank you! Wow.

Thanks for letting us know about the light at the end of the tunnel.


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1236 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:53 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you, Click! I wish you every happiness.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7850 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay Clicky!!!!!


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53012 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

#209! Wow.

Great post.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:50 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17708 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Too_Trusting
♀ 99
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AWESOME, Click. I'm also about 12 years out, so congrats from #99!


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2491 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Click. this post makes me happy


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8490 | Registered: Apr 2008
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You've done well, clicky.

I know your road hasn't been easy, but you're a testament to others here that life can be great after infidelity.

AJ's MOM

ETA: FTG

[This message edited by ajsmom at 8:35 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21104 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15435 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love ya, clicks.


"If the path you walk leads back to yourself, you'll never get anywhere." - Master Oogway

Posts: 18340 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
msk99
♂ 29293
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very powerful, thanks for posting!


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Needed to see this today. Thank you for posting from your heart!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3236 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this clicky.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26197 | Registered: Aug 2011
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Click!


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 817 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
click4it
♀ 209
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks so much everyone. glad my post was helpful. I just typed it all out and didn't know it would have an impact. glad I shared my feelings today.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, click. I've hit DDay season (a couple of weeks after yours-- I'm two years out), and I've been very down. I needed a good dose of hope!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3644 | Registered: Oct 2011
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Need a clapping hand and some pom poms for this post. WTG!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs, click4it. Hope we can have a drink/snack/dinner to 12 years soon!


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
click4it
♀ 209
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks guys! Man I had such a shitty day!! My boss was a total B..told me she doesn't want to talk to me about an issue I wanted to bring up to her because she is cranky, but yet she was willing to talk with everyone else in the office and she gave me cold shoulder all day...and I had an argument with my son, which resulted in him pouting for 4 hours and had a lousy dinner out with my kids....

Ugh, let this day just be over.

Was trying my damnest to start this day out on a positive note, but it just didn't turn out that way.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
okaynow
♀ 13813
Member # 13813
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love you Click. You are great!


Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

Posts: 2432 | Registered: Mar 2007
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.