Gently, and I think you know this, you need to go hardcore NC. Your last DD was so very recent. I was still walking around in a functioning haze of shock at that stage.
Anything he is doing is to assuage his own guilt. They all seem to do this - buttering you up so you'll play nice in the D.
Focus on working with your L to get what you are entitled to. Do it know whilst his guilt is still fresh - before he goes feral on you. They all do once they realise we're not going to roll over or play nice to keep the peace anymore.
Right now you are in the midst of the dreaded 'what ifs' - very, very common.
I spent a lot of time there and it was hell. I felt like I was spinning around in a washing machine not knowing which way was up.
Read and re-read NC / 180. These are both essential as you begin the long and painful process of detaching from him. Only with detachment will you find peace.
((Phoenix9572)) I remember the confusion well. I spent far too long wondering WTF he was doing, up to, thinking, feeling.. etc. Time to turn that energy into taking care of you, your needs, taking charge of your healing.
Please, don't get stuck in this place too long. It is crazy making.