I've been reading about this. It seems to explain, to my satisfaction, all of the behaviours I've been seeing in my crazy-soon-to-be-x-wayward-wife (CSTBXWW)
Every single bit of marital re-write, blameshift, accusation, crazy making and bullshit is done to reduce her cognitive dissonance to acceptable levels.
It is self fulfilling; it's what keeps them in the affair and explains why they often just never have a satisfactory answer as to why.
I've been googling this term all day and everything fits.
Of course, it doesn't explain away the lack of boundaries which enable the affair to begin in the first place, but it does explain how the betrayed ends up being blamed for everything.