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Newest Member: Calmate (46012)

User Topic: Mojo please!
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Frustrated  Posted: 10:15 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SO is attending a settlement meeting at 1:30 today with his xw regarding custody of his DD(14).
It's a long story but the gist is that it's best for DD to live with us and it's what she has wanted since her mother moved her out of the county back in Feb. She continues to subject the child to 1.5 to 2 hours daily round trip car rides to keep her in her current school when we live just 1/2 mile from the school. DD is in special programs as she is accelerated gifted and as a middle school student has her first class of the day at the high school at 7am. Couple that with after school activities 4 days a week and she is not getting back to her mothers until nearly 9pm each night when she finally gets to work on homework. Then up at 4:30am so she can be ready to leave by 6am.
SO offered a compromise back in Feb, let DD stay through the week and no change would be made in c/s, lets just do what's best for DD but she refused. So now it's come down to this.
There is also a DS(18) involved but his school work is much less demanding as he is in resource classes and is not involved in any after school activities. He is going for custody of both but willing to compromise on DS as long as his grades do not suffer.
Geez, I'm a nervous wreck. Every night when that little girl is picked up from our house after her extracurricular activities and I know she still has 2-3 hours of homework and I know she will be lucky to get 5 hrs of sleep, I just want to cry.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo!!!!


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53299 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
hexed
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lots of good thoughts going out for your SO and kids!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8542 | Registered: Apr 2008
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo!

Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo and good thoughts.

Posts: 36763 | Registered: Mar 2011
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending lots of mojo and positive thoughts. Hoping for the very best.

Posts: 8228 | Registered: Dec 2010
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much!

I am looking forward to some much needed peace of mind after this. Hopefully they can agree on a majority of issues and leave very little for the judge to decide when they go to court.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mojo and positive thoughts coming your way!!!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8888 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
jrc1963
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mojo and positive thoughts and support!!!

I hate it when parents to at least try to work things out in the best interest of the child due to their own selfish reasons or stubborn pride or whatever!

Kids come first damn it!


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24745 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, the ex wife lied and said she had no clue the DD 14 wants live with her dad. In spite of the fact that DD 14 signed 2 affidavits, one during the summer when this all started and another the week she turned 14 last month. Ex wifes atty had been notified of the affidavit but it's unclear if she received a copy prior to yesterdays meeting. They were at an impasse and decided to readdress with a mediator in 2 weeks.
Ex wife is also claiming that SO is consistently past due on child and spousal support payments because he pays her bi-weekly instead of monthly. But when SO insisted that he was not past due it got heated and they all had to take a break. When recon veined it was determined that he is actually ahead by $700 year to date.
I think at this point she and her attorneys are just throwing shit to see what sticks because she doesn't want to loose her 3k a month money train.
Back to sitting on our hands for 2 more weeks while the mother has time to discuss DD14's decision with her (read as- emotionally manipulate her into backing down so she doesn't loose any c/s). I hate that bitch!


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry y'all have to deal with this. What mother wouldn't be concerned for the physical and mental welfare of their child? What she's doing to her DD is not healthy. What a witch.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6527 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
still2suspicious
♀ 31722
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lb-

Sounds like you have a very intelligent 14 yr old there.

I see it that since she signed, not just one, but TWO affadavits to request living with you and SO, that the 2 weeks the ex has to try to change her mind probably aint' gonna work!

Way to go, DD14!!


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1338 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

**update**
I'm going to call SOs DD14 L for ease of us.
L had church activity after school yesterday so came to our home directly from school then was picked up and dropped off by a fellow church member and friend. Her mother (the ex) picked her up about 10 minutes after she arrived back from church, about 8:15pm.
Tonight was SOs weekly night with kids, he picked L up at 6pm from after school running club and she told him all about her ride home last night. Her mother told her how selfish she was being, that she was not taking the well being of the entire family into account and how difficult it would be for her to manage without ALL of her child support. She proceeded to tell her that we (her father and I) are not her family and that SHE is her family and that her father left them.
This bitch used every manipulation tool in the book to get poor L to back down and reconsider. L is sticking to her guns, she has always been a daddys girl and she wants to live with her daddy...period. She told me tonight that 2 years ago she probably would have caved but she's learned her mothers tricks and doesn't like what she sees.
This child has been researching career paths for well over a year, setting herself up to graduate a year early and get a free ride to the college of choice. Last year (in 7th grade) she took the SATs and scored in the 1200s. This girl is going places!!
Mom, otoh has never worked a day in her life and has been content to sit back and do nothing for the past 3 yrs except take SOs money, loose the house in spite of 3k a month, refuse to work even part time and then blame SO when she can't make ends meet. It would probably help if she didn't use the money for cosmetic surgery and vacations. Stupid bitch! Sorry do I sound bitter? much?


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Emergency mediation this morning followed by court tomorrow.
Please, please, please send good thoughts and mojo.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending more mojo


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53299 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
imagoodwitch
♀ 23375
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fingers crossed, mojo and prayers sent.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5508 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending it all, luvbug! ((((SO's DD14))))


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26468 | Registered: Aug 2011
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mediation cancelled because the mother claims L has not made her decision as to where she wants to live.
That's a load of BS! She was at our house over the weekend to do homework (because her mother claims she can't afford internet) and all she could talk about is moving in with us. She tried to stay with us the whole weekend but her mother refused and instead made her go home only to pack her stuff again and go to her grandparents house so she could use their internet to finish her homework.
I'm sure her grandparents did their share of browbeating that poor child as well.

That woman is going to make her child go before the judge and tell him what she wants because she can't accept the fact that her daughter would be better off living with her dad.

There is so much more to the story that I haven't shared but the gist is this...the mother has a boyfriend that gives L the creeps. Initially he was practically living there until SO reminded her that she was is contempt of the divorce agreement. This is why mom moved the kids to another county and just a few doors down from her parents (L's grandparents). Mom leaves the kids every night to sleep at her parents house with her boyfriend, been doing this since they moved in Feb.
We are hoping that the judge sees this for what it is, an attempt to skirt the system (have her cake and eat it too). She was also actively involved in an A when he left her in 2010.
She's a real piece of work.

eta: edited to add more details.

[This message edited by luvbug0915 at 8:33 AM, October 7th (Monday)]


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
simplydevastated
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm coming in late on this. Sending you lots of mojo and strength.

Can they force a mediation instead of postponing them constantly? She's 14, can't she make the appointment herself or write a letter to the courts explaining where she wants to live and send it without her mother's knowledge?

I hope it works out for the best for everyone.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
luvbug0915
♀ 22934
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

simplydevistated, court is tomorrow and our lawyer is hoping to get the issue of custody resolved then.

Mediation was to address custody and a whole list of other issues, including several contempt charges against mother and a reduction or hopefully a termination in spousal support. SO was very ill advised at the time of divorce and his new attorney has pointed out many flaws in the settlement that should have been caught by the judge prior to signing in the first place.

Keep the mojo coming!!!


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1053 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
Topic Posts: 32
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