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std question

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 teach5 (original poster member #18445) posted at 10:07 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

OW left a message on my phone that she has herpes and WH knew it. They did not use condoms. WH had a positive herpes test and he told me the Dr said it could be positive because he has had a bladder infection twice. I believed it at the time, but now I am wondering. Has anyone ever heard of this? Thanks!

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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:59 PM on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013

I'd get myself to a doctor and ask for the antibody titer test for both strains of herpes. I'd also insist that my husband have the same test AND that *I* would get the results of the test.

Bladder infections don't cause herpes. You know this. I suppose it's possible in the universe of anything imaginable is possible that your hubby's bladder infection was caused by herpes. But did the doctor tell you this, or was this relayed to you by your husband?

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
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doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 12:30 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

Ummm, no! I had a family friend who's WH tried (successfully even) to convince her that she had contracted Chlamydia from a public toilet seat and she should be more accountable with her time since he now had reason to not trust her. Turns out that the WH had been cheating with everything that walked and had given his BW several STD's in all the years they were together, and had always convinced her she caught them somewhere instead of from him.

So, long story short, your WH's herpes test did NOT come back positive because he had a bladder infection... I've had bladder infections and have never had a positive STD test... until my WH actually gave me an STD.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever

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 teach5 (original poster member #18445) posted at 12:46 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

He did an anonymous blood test and when the result was positive he was supposed to call and talk to someone-I only heard this info from him. Dday was on New Year's Eve. I had an std screening in February that was negative, but in retrospect I am wondering if that was too soon. We had not had sex for 6 mos before that and HB after day. I have been having odd symptoms for the last 3 years- intense itching- so now I am wondering.

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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:49 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

Sometimes you can tell by how many antibodies are present if you had an active infection recently or long ago (or something like that). I'm not a doctor, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt. Although I have to say I'd be taking what I say over the BS your hubby is giving you, that him having a bladder infection made a false positive for herpes. That's absurd.

Don't let yourself be gaslighted any longer. You deserve the truth of your life.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

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JustWow ( member #19636) posted at 1:00 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

Herpes antibodies can be detected by a blood test, your doctor just needs to order it. There are antiviral meds you can take to help suppress it, go get tested. It is good to know the truth - and not knowing it doesn't make it untrue.

Take care of yourself - you are worth it

BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)

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Jospehine85 ( member #35971) posted at 1:10 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

Herpes is caused by a virus.

Bladder infections are caused by bacterias.

Bladder infections do not cause Herpes. Ever.

Both of you need to go in to the doctor and get tested for EVERYTHING.

Me - BS
WH - old
Kids
Dday May 2012

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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 1:56 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

When you get the herpes blood test, ask for both Types I & II, & ask for IGG & IGM for both. You may be able to tell from that info how recent of an infection it is, if it is positive.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

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 teach5 (original poster member #18445) posted at 11:49 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

So is it possible for WH to be positive but asymptomatic and pass it to me?

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hitbyatruck ( member #23769) posted at 12:01 PM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

So is it possible for WH to be positive but asymptomatic and pass it to me?

YES!

You might not have been tested for herpes when you were screened for STDs. Herpes wasn't included in my Dr.'s regular screening.

Ever had a coldsore? You will more than likely test positive for at least HSV-1.

Married 1998. 2 kids. First discovery 3/2009. Multiple affairs, porn addiction. one failed attempt at R. Nested for over a year. Divorce final 8/2015. XH is now married. I am engaged!

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hitbyatruck ( member #23769) posted at 12:02 PM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/pain-management-herpes

Copy and paste that. Lots of good information.

Married 1998. 2 kids. First discovery 3/2009. Multiple affairs, porn addiction. one failed attempt at R. Nested for over a year. Divorce final 8/2015. XH is now married. I am engaged!

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 teach5 (original poster member #18445) posted at 2:37 PM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

Thanks so much!

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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:39 PM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2013

teach5 please go to your dr and get the full work up. He has obviously given you quite the snow job. In addition you need to share that you are having those symptoms as well.

Yes he has Herpes, NO it's not from a bladder infection. Yes he can give it to you, even if he doesn't actively have it.

You could possibly have it as well, and not have symptoms related to it. Make sure you Dr tests for both, and their antibodies, like Mchercheur said.

The symptoms you describe do not sound like herpetic infection though. If this is something that comes and goes, it can be an actual bacterial infection that is simply treated with antibiotics, if it's something that causes lots of icky discharge, and nasty smell then yeast. But whatever it is it isn't normal. Oh and I don't know how old you are, but things down there start to change as far as natural lubricants, and dryness and itching too as soon as perimenopause starts for some.

Don't be afraid to go, the Dr's see this day in and day out,and prefer to treat you before it's bad, or a serious problem.

((((and strength))))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

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