As the subject says, we are starting the R phase, so I wanted to drop-in and say "Hi". Our dday was June, so we listened to you and the books, and gave it a few months just to let the dust settle. We have been calling it Phase 1. During this time we read a lot, started MC and IC, talked for hours, screamed and cried (well, I did), and worked on being totally honest with each other. He changed his position at work, modified his hours, became transparent, wrote me letters, started participating in our lives as a father and a husband, and letting me in as a true partner. We have met with lawyers and will be finalizing our post-nup this week. We will also be attending Retrouvaille this month. I have printed out the R marriage rules from this site and created my own marriage manifesto. We reviewed and discussed both in great detail. So here we are entering Phase 2.
I am nervous and I am trying to keep my expectations in check. I look at some of my earliest post and I can feel my raw pain. Also, there are many sheer post that are bordering on crazy! Granted, I don't think I have had a cry-free day and they are days that I do still feel pain from the shock and hurt, but it does feel different. I have accepted that this is part of our past and it isn't going to change. I realize that me being vulnerable is going to be my biggest challenge and his biggest challenge is going to be making sure I feel safe and respected at all times.
So I wanted to say "Thank you!" for getting me through the hardest months of my life. You were my daily/hourly lifeline. I wasn't alone and there was always someone who was feeling exactly like me or someone who could offer sane words and advice. You have made me cry and laugh sometimes even in the same post! I know it isn't going to be easy and I still may have crazy roller-coaster posts and extremely rough days, but I am hoping I survived the worst of it and we can start building something from the ashes.
As always if you have any advice, please share! Otherwise, here goes Phase 2!
