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I started seeing a therapist. My first appointment was with her today. I didn't want to at first, but I really didn't have a choice. I needed to do something to help me get through all of this. I know that I have to get on with my life and start thinking about my H and what I did to him.

I wish I could do everything over again. There is no way that I would ever have an A. There is so much pain and hurt and the longer you're with someone, the more pain there is.

I feel sorry for my H. He didn't deserve this.

How did the therapy appointment go?

Well done. Good first step. Keep taking these steps and steady progress will follow.

Have you told your H yet?

My therapy appointment went very well. I really like my therapist. It was just really strange talking to someone about my A, but it did feel really good to get it all out.

It's feels so good to know that I can talk to someone. I will be seeing her once a week so I'm hoping that this will really help me get through this.

I have not told my H yet, but I will in time. I first need to get myself together because right now I'm a real mess.

So I hope by having a therapist now and by having all of you at SI, I will get better and feel better about everything. It will be extremely hard to do, but eventually I will tell my H.