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I threw out my pants

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strongerdaybyday posted 10/3/2013 10:16 AM

Literally. Not because I lost or gained weight but because a specific type of pants that I have were a trigger! Who woulda thought pants would be a trigger? Makes me sound kinda looney

They were a trigger because: they are the same type of pants (same style, cut and colour) that OW wore to my daughters bday party a few years ago. Anyway I didn't realize this until I started wearing them and they looked...familiar. Then I started flashing back to the day of the party and remembered that SHE wore pants just like that (I even have her in a pic wearing them). Everytime I wore them, I thought of her, then the A and triggered...HARD. Goodbye pants, you looked good but aren't worth my mental health. (Now I must be crazy...I'm saying goodbye to pants! )

SisterMilkshake posted 10/3/2013 10:21 AM

Lalagirl posted 10/3/2013 10:23 AM

You're not looney, sweetie, if you are, I am too...

OW and I were friends in the past and wore the same fragrance...after everything went to shit, I threw out a brand new, $90 bottle of that fragrance and have never worn it since.

bionicgal posted 10/3/2013 10:26 AM

I have skirt I can't wear because it is a style that she wears. Can't decide if I will reclaim it or not, but it reminded me of her even when I bought it.

Rella posted 10/3/2013 10:29 AM

Glad to hear you made the connection & acted on it. A trigger can be anything... a song, a sound, a smell, a date, an event, a location.... nothing about a trigger is looney.

(((Hugs))),
Rella

CatchyUsername posted 10/3/2013 10:54 AM

I had to donate a fantastic new dress because it was too similar to something I saw her in once.

ShatteredLove00 posted 10/3/2013 10:57 AM

Not my clothes, but I had to throw out some of my WH's clothes. All the new clothes he bought for the business trip where he ended up cheating on me.

We're still early in the process (1 month) so I don't know what the future holds for us, but I am a very frugal person and normally it would be almost impossible for me to throw out good clothes - and $400 went into the trash 2 weeks after they were purchased. :(

He had also brought back gifts for our 1 year old that he bought on the trip. Those he cried about when I threw them away. He said that he bought them to make himself feel less like a terrible father for betraying the family. I felt that it was a disgusting thing to give a baby a toy bought during the period he betrayed the family.

[This message edited by ShatteredLove00 at 1:46 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)]

JKL Vikings posted 10/3/2013 11:03 AM

Hi stronger.
WH treading respectfully.
You aren't looney at all. The Alpha Female (my wife) saw a teddy bear that OW had given L(my youngest son). She said she wanted it gone. It went out in the next morning's trash.

tushnurse posted 10/3/2013 11:04 AM

OH hell that isn't looney. I would follow that up with burning those suckers up, and throwing the pic in with it. That's not even loony.

Loony is still wearing them, and pushing that shit down.

StrongerOne posted 10/3/2013 11:25 AM

Love the title...

You're not crazy.

Here's crazy -- soon after DDay I went out and bought shoes like the MCOW wore(totally not my style). My H had remarked to her, kind of a joke but kind of not, how much he liked her wild sexy shoes.

Ugh. I finally yanked the wild, sexy heels off those things and trashed them.

eta, I shoulda stabbed him with the heels, they were POINTY. Oh well, opportunity lost!

[This message edited by StrongerOne at 11:26 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)]

hopingforhappy posted 10/3/2013 11:36 AM

Luckily, OW dressed just like FWH's mother, so no need to lose any of my wardrobe!

JanaGreen posted 10/3/2013 11:54 AM

Excellent! Now go buy yourself some sweet new pants!

dindy posted 10/3/2013 11:59 AM

Lucky for me OW is a dyke that looks like a boy so thankfully I don't need to throw any of my clothes out! :)

Saying that I have changed a lot of my clothes and bought myself some nice new ones since S.

Though if I did have any clothes that looked like its I wouldn't think twice about binning then!

ajsmom posted 10/3/2013 12:00 PM

I had to throw out all of my John Deere t-shirts.

Oh, wait.

I never owned any!

AJ's MOM

BeyondBreaking posted 10/3/2013 12:05 PM

I can understand that. :(

Unfortunately, I know all too well how triggers that seem loony to everyone else make complete and total sense when you are living it.

Hang in there. Don't he too harsh on yourself. You have a right to feel like you look awesome in any pants/shirt you wear. If you think of the OW- those pants need to go!

strongerdaybyday posted 10/3/2013 12:12 PM

Thanks everyone. These comments are making my day!

JKL Vikings

The Alpha Female (my wife) saw a teddy bear that OW had given L(my youngest son). She said she wanted it gone. It went out in the next morning's trash.

^^^This is awesome. Glad you threw it out! I would want it gone too.

cantaccept posted 10/3/2013 12:14 PM

I cut my hair and make it as curly as possible, keep my nails really short. Crazy but these things about me were triggering me!!!

I needed to be as different as possible.

justdoit posted 10/3/2013 14:07 PM

Stronger - thank you and everyone else posting on this! My FWH has several shirts that mysteriously appeared during his affair - and I hate them! I thought that I was being silly but you guys are right! They went in the donation bag just now and I will never have to look at them and wonder again!

Bikingguy posted 10/3/2013 14:23 PM

I certainly understand the need to get rid of anything that is a trigger, but does it all have to go into a landfill? Couldn't it be donated?

The environmentalist in me, wouldn't even let me burn the F ing sheets. I donated them. Anyone getting used sheets knows what occurred on thwm doesn't matter with whom! OM's BW did break all the dishes my WW gave to them. I was OK with this as it was very therapeutic. I did find a sign OM's daughter had made for WW, wishing her good luck in an event. I burned it for here and emailed her a picture of the ashes. Also left them on the grill and made WW clean it up.

PositiveAttitude posted 10/3/2013 14:51 PM

Maybe I'm the insane one. I lost 50 pounds since DDay. I not only took back MY style I've emulated some of hers as my own too. Yes, it's viscous and quite possibly petty, but I *AM* the total package, and I want WH to remember that!

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