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Newest Member: NumbEmptySad (61504)

User Topic: Note to user "bigger"
Secrets Kept
♀ 40630
Member # 40630
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello bigger,

I almost put this comment on your thread with "coda" but didnt want to go off topic. I also almost sent you a PM but wanted any newbies out there to read my post as well.

Basically, I just want to send kudos to you about all of your so well worded & absolutely great advice.

I have also been reading along other threads, will find myself really liking a good response & when I look over to who the user was that did the is you.

You dont have your story posted on your profile but I see you have been with SI for quite some time. Sorry for what you went through but please keep giving the great advice on what you learned through your process.

And newbies out there.....take the advice of ALL the "veteran" SI'er's...they have been there & done that so could save ya some pain.

Thank ALL OF YOU for such great help!!!

Marriage #1=BW-47 (now)
XWH-Deceased on his 36 bday
Divorced in 1996
Marriage #2= Married in 2003
Unknown BH-45 Me-WW-47
2 kids together-DS15 & DD13
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"

Posts: 271 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest USA
♀ 11176
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah.....we really should pay him, but you know how things are.

So instead we just admire him.

He's given great advice to so many.


BS: 58
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 7526 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
♀ 30143
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bigger is a wise dude and has lots of wisdom to share.

He's a real blessing to this site.

Me (BW) (58), Him(SAWH) (61)
Married 24 years, 1 son (22), 1 stepdaughter (30)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1771 | Registered: Nov 2010
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, he is pretty amazing. He was here in JFO welcoming me and other newbies who were stunned and reeling in 2010.

I am very grateful for the veterans that were here to welcome me and continue to welcome the newbies in JFO. I still find it very hard to deal with some of the very raw and fresh pain and can't hang out in JFO much yet still. (Although, I was scared to death to leave the JFO forum when I first arrived at SI and stayed in JFO for a long time.)

Thanks, Bigger, for all you do. I remember you shared your story back in my days of JFO. I had a lot of admiration for how you handled yourself and your situation.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13368 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
♀ 39372
Member # 39372
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was just thinking the very same thing! I have spent the better part of my morning reading his recent posts.

He strips away the bullshit, and leaves the core of common sense.

Thank You Bigger.

Me BS 46
Him WS 48
Together 18 yrs
Daughter 9
DD Nov 13/12
Today ?

Posts: 241 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 33806
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count me in as another admirer,,
I also consider Bigger's advice to others solid and wise..
I once sent him a note soliciting advice on how to handle my situation....

[This message edited by doggiediva at 2:50 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)]

Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

60 years young..

Posts: 3929 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Texas
♀ 31722
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I LOVE reading bigger's posts!

Very wise, and so calm. (SO unlike me!!)

Me: BS
Him: WH

Posts: 1599 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
♂ 8354
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aw shucks guys. You make me blush...

On a serious note; Thanks and it undeniably tickles my ego to read the comments above. But even more important is that for us ďold-timerĒ and other posters that contribute here on SI itís nice to get confirmation that what we write makes some sense and possibly helps.

One of SIís best points IMHO is the vast number of regular, experienced contributors. There are several that have been longer than I have and even more that have come since I arrived. I guess if asked most would agree with me that sometimes posting here simply gets too much. It can emotionally drain you and leave you completely blank and empty. Itís a great comfort knowing that although one might take a sabbatical from SI there are enough competent and caring contributors to keep the torch burning. Itís good to know that every time a new betrayed spouse steps into our world there is someone here to welcome them.

So in a semi-corny way I want to turn this thread around a bit and give praise to all the regular contributors here. We might not all agree with each other all the time but our hearts are aligned to the same goal; support, guidance and survival.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 7060 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 8

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